Deleted tweet detection is currently running at reduced
capacity due to changes to the Twitter API. Some tweets that have been
deleted by the tweet author may not be labeled as deleted in the PolitiTweet
interface.
Showing page 203 of 211.
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
So excited about Patti Smith's new book. Even more than I was about John Updike's prog rock album. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
See Paul Simon's new video "Getting Ready For Christmas Day" till Dec. 26 on colbertnation.com! Just click on the mouse, Klaus. (Get it?) — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Freedom is just another word for nothing else to lose. But in a pinch, "loganberry" will also work. Look it up. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
After talking to Shakespeare expert Julie Taymor, I now know it's bad luck to say "McRib" before a performance. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If "Deep Blue Sea" taught us anything about hyper-intelligent army-trained sharks, it's that only L.L. Cool J is safe. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Now I only have to interview Chevy Chase and I'll have pulled off the coveted Triple Amigo. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight, I'll see if Steve Martin is a real art expert. I'm making him take that Tippy the Turtle drawing test. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Stephen Martin will be on the show tonight. Sorry, I just can't bring myself to shorten that beautiful first name to "Steve." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
First they sell you a stapler. Then it's staples. Then it's a staple remover. Enough! I'm Stephen Colbert, and I support paper clips. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Whoa. Eisenhower's son married Nixon's daughter, and Nixon's son married Lincoln's secretary named Kennedy. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If when? Not now! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Who runs the cantaloupe lobby? Because they've done a great job getting them representation in the fruit salad industry. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Who would be fiendish enough to steal King Tut's penis? Wait a minute, has anyone seen the Time-Traveling Brandy Thief lately? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Here's a mystery of ancient Egypt: how did The Rock get there to film The Mummy Returns? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The greatest thing about the Mongolian Cosmo magazine? You can build a yurt out of the subscription cards. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
On looks alone, John Thune would make a great president as long as he can fend off a challenge from a flat-front Docker's pant model. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
More people should subscribe to "Embalmer's Weekly." The content is timeless and the pages never seem to yellow. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Congress passed a huge food safety bill. Finally--they'd been holding that in for months. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Remember: You win some, you lose some, you lose a few more, you borrow some cash from a loan shark, and OH GOD, THEY'RE HERE FOR THE MONEY! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A scientist has found the most boring day in history was April 11th, 1954. I assume that doesn't count the day spent figuring that out. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
And apparently the holiday is not T.HanksGiving, in which you ask Tom Hanks for something and he has to give it to you. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Scientists have allegedly created anti-matter. I think they just put an evil goatee on regular matter. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and 2 breasts? Me after my fourth helping. Happy Thanksgiving! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If you're looking for a great stuffing for your turkey that is sure to please your guests, try cash. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm off for Thanksgiving! I know what you're thinking, "Wasn't that the 2nd Monday in October?" No, Canadians. I mean REAL Thanksgiving. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I just got a new sports car. SPOILER ALERT: It has a spoiler. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
There's nothing I hate more than indecisiveness. No, wait....yes, I hate that. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm just about to collapse from exhaustion. Just have to position my face above the Z key... There. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Pardoning that turkey was a huge mistake. My Christmas tree won't be so lucky. The axe tolls for thee, Piney! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Forty-eight hours later and I think the Four Loko is finally starting to wear off. — PolitiTweet.org
