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Showing page 189 of 211.
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
To any politicians watching my show while having chat-sex, let me just say YOUR GRANDMA NAKED! YOUR GRANDMA NAKED! That'll teach you. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Even three-page bills are too long. I don't know why we need to pass anything longer than a Post-It that says "Cut taxes." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
See if you can spot the hidden prize in tonight's show. Here's a hint: It's 22 minutes long and features me! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. The gift receipt is usually taped to a hoof. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My prediction for the Stanley Cup Finals? I'll watch the Bachelorette instead. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Nintendo has unveiled its new Wii. I just hope they didn't tweet a picture of it. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
After losing its job, now the Food Pyramid has to wait in the soup line toget 4 to 6 servings of gruel a day. Welcome to Obama's America. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
What's my regimen for maintaining a 76-year-old's physique? Mainly a lot of canasta and dinner at 5. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Apple's new iOS 5 will revolutionize the way congressmen take pictures of their junk. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Schoolhouse Rock needs to do a new song about how a tweet becomes a tearful press conference. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I wonder if it's hard for a cricket doing standup at a comedy club to tell if they're bombing. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
( )( ) ... Oh no! I think I just accidentally tweeted an emoticon of my ass! #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Salman Khan has 53 million students. How long does it take this guy to come up with a seating chart? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Remember @hughhefner, The Report is a family show, no sex during it! Do what I do & wait for commercial breaks. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/5wqaeqt #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I don't know if we'll raise the debt ceiling, but we should definitely scale back on putting in a new debt porch. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/3s6oslx #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://bit.ly/mQs36J #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://bit.ly/kdAFKB #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/3ujk6fh #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/6cj5sog #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/2u6zz87 #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/3ok3kw8 #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/3lh3yq7 #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/4xf4v6z #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/3292rjd #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/3t7k8oj #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/2fvzta7 #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg11m2QBLf1qasm6mo1_500.jpg #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body. http://tinyurl.com/4v2gueb #ivebeenhacked — PolitiTweet.org
