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Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Insiders say facebook has a new secret project. We'll hear about it soon - they're terrible at keeping things private. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Our nation's seniors face another threat - the continual passage of time. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Iran's favorite fashion TV show? "Say Death to the Dress." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I always put my money where my mouth is, it's easier than carrying a wallet. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I schooled @MLB in the Beat the Streak challenge! I am the King of Baseball! (That's the one with the bats, right?) http://t.co/h96ZhOF — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My crowd-pleasing performance in Company in select theaters starting today. Other actors are in it too, whatever. http://companyonscreen.com — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I had a dream I was taking the marshmallow test, and when I woke up, my pillow was gone! I sleep on a pillow stuffed with marshmallows. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Ever notice how you never see Grover and Super-Grover in the same room at the same time? Suspicious. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tim Pawlenty will make a great Vice-President. Or failing that, an extra in a documentary about manila envelopes. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Beat The Streak pick 6/14: Albert Pujols (StL) When I take over @MLB, I'll give fans what they want: lots of concession stand sales figures. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
They released the 7,000-page Pentagon Papers. Hooray! Now I have something to read when I finish the 24,000-page Palin e-mails. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I wonder if Disney will option my canoe story for their next kids’ movie. There’s no rule that says a platypus can’t freestyle canoe dance! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
On top of freestyle canoe dancing, I also love "horse race pie-eating" and "synchronized bobsled swimming." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Democrats called for Weiner to resign. Unfortunately, all they heard on the other end of the call was a lot of heavy breathing. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My Beat the Streak pick for today, 6/13: Andre Ethier (L.A. Dodgers). That @MLB Twitter feed is as good as mine! http://t.co/1Yv1iGv — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The world's most-pierced woman has wed in Scotland. I'm told she had forty-five ringbearers. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
See my performance in Company in movie theaters starting 6/15! I'm best enjoyed with $9 Sno-Caps. http://companyonscreen.com — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
.@MLB challenged me to Beat The Streak. If I win, I control their Twitter for 24 hrs! I ACCEPT! My first pick 6/13! http://t.co/1Yv1iGv — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Leonard Stern, one of the creators of Mad Libs, has died. He will be verb (past tense). — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My heart goes out to Newt Gingrich for having his staffers quit. Usually, he's the one doing the dumping. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My friend Julian McCullough @julezmac is on BFFSM Jimmy Fallon's show tonight. Trying not to be paranoid that I wasn't invited. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
So what if fracking pumps chemicals into drinking water--what do you think Smartwater is? (Smartwater has kerosene in it, right?) — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Donald Trump would be a great president and he only fires 15 people a season, so Mitt Romney will be THOUSANDS of times better! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Does Mitt Romney have what it takes to be president? A weird name and unpopular health care plan? Check and check! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
It sure is wet out here, but thanks to Atlantis gear, we kept warm and dry. Thank you, Bill! http://t.co/SYAWYVO http://t.co/T8HPCcI — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Consumer satisfaction with airlines is up for the second straight year. Looks like that $25 Complaint Fee wasn't such a bad idea. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
They say practice makes prefect. I mean, plerfect. Damn! I knew I should have practiced that tweet. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Help find missing Indiana U student Lauren Spierer. For more info, go to http://t.co/tJ15BOl — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Ja Rule was sentenced to prison, but he's expected to appeal the Ja-ruling. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
God is Tweeting! I always suspected Jonah was swallowed by the Fail Whale. @TheTweetOfGod — PolitiTweet.org
