Deleted tweet detection is currently running at reduced
capacity due to changes to the Twitter API. Some tweets that have been
deleted by the tweet author may not be labeled as deleted in the PolitiTweet
interface.
Showing page 183 of 211.
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
How could Greece be so short on cash? They're making $20/day off me in yogurt revenue alone! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If Europe collapses, I'll lose the 200 Lira I still have on my Eurail pass from 1986. Now I'll never see Czechoslovakia! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
In the end, the power of the Colbert Bump proved too much for R.E.M. to handle. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Prehistoric feathers were found trapped in amber. Hopefully someday scientists will open a theme park of cloned duvets. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My guest tonight has a new book on the importance of siblings. Instead of reading it, I put it in a headlock for two hours. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Broaden the tax base! Countless animals live in America and don't pay their fair share. Give Uncle Sam a 1/3 of your nuts, squirrels! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If we really want to broaden our tax base, why don't we tax people from other countries? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Parks and rec! Yo! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Whole lotta foreign accents grabbing America's golden lady...where is the outrage?! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Haven't won yet...jon Stewart smells like cinnamon. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Maybe I should stop by Fallon tonight, just to prove I'm totally over him... Or maybe I'll go to Sbarro instead. Tough call. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Saw an article that said SAT reading scores are at their lowest ever. Would tell you more, but I couldn't comprehend any of it. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Help commemorate the end of the USPS with my "Farewell to Postage" Postage. http://t.co/CEYfnmpZ — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Revenue problem, USPS? Have you considered mail trucks that are also ice cream trucks? You're welcome. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If Obama really wanted a jobs plan we could get behind, he should have covered the front page in puffy stickers. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm #28 on Vanity Fair's Establishment List. I should be #1. I've got more vanity than anyone. http://t.co/MxrmaHKp — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
One thing I learned about making small talk with Al Gore: DO NOT say "Hot enough for you?" — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Sure, the media has been ignoring Ron Paul. But on the other hand, hey, look, a butterfly! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
When you reach the end of this tweet, please: be kind & rewind. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A family of coyotes has taken up residence in an abandoned home in Los Angeles. Why do all my sitcom ideas keep coming true?!?! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A new study says fatherhood leads to a drop in testosterone. It's the kind of thing I used to get furious about before I had kids. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I hope Diane Sawyer's special on Jackie O finally uncovers what the O stood for. My guess -- Octopoid! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2 jets grounded after people made too many bathroom trips. That's now the 2nd worst thing that can happen from drinking airplane coffee. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A man dressed as Gumby robbed a convenience store. Now he's in the Pokey. (takes bow) Thank you! Thank you! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Google has purchased Zagat restaurant reviews. Apparently, they "really appreciated" Zagat's "solid value" and "attentive service." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A drunk moose got stuck in an apple tree in Sweden. And this time it's not because they write their news stories using Mad Libs. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
For a transcript of tonight's twitter feed, hit Ctrl-P. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Social Security isn't just a Ponzi scheme, it's a Fonzi scheme. For 75 years it's been freeloading off us in the apartment above the garage! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Republicans are going to have it so easy in the 2012 presidential election. Obama hasn't even shown up to one debate! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I got first draft in my fantasy foosball team. Once again, my top pick: the plastic dude with the metal rod through his torso. — PolitiTweet.org
