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Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Congrats to Tunisia on their 1st democratic election! Just wait til you start getting unlimited $$, that's when democracy really gets good! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If Frank Luntz is such an awesome wordsmith, why doesn't he change his name to Smoldering Abripples? Check and mate, sir. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Corporations have feelings just like you and I do. Or at least, Feeling Departments. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm doing a benefit 12/2 for the Montclair Int. Film Festival! I'm awesome! #supergenerousdude #miff www.wellmonttheatre.com/event/72709 — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
M-C Hammer is launching his own search engine! I hope it's more successful than Yahoo-Tang Clan. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
On tonight's "Report": Coldplay performs a song off their new album "MYLO XYLOTO." Wow, in Scrabble, that'd be worth 10,000 points. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The Real World is looking to cast Occupy Wall Street protesters. That's one way to clear out Zuccotti Park. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I have fond memories of my pre-EPA childhood. For pocket money, I would shovel the smog off the neighbors' driveway. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The World Series begins tonight! I can't wait to check out the players the Yankees will poach next year. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The American Academy of Pediatrics says children under 2 should not watch TV. So babies, it's only movies for you. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
After 12 years, I finally got the "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" song out of my head. Damn. Now it's back. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I can't believe my show's been on for 6 years. I found out by counting the rings on my desk chair. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm pretty sure Stephen Pinker's book about the decline of violence was just a clever ruse to not tell me about Fight Club. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tater Tots are delicious. But Tater Teens are moody and bitter. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Just put on my Halloween costume! This year I'm going as "Guy Who Thinks Halloween Is On October 18th." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
McDonald's is launching its own in-store TV channel. I can't wait to watch "Hamburgling, She Wrote." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Harry Belafonte's book "My Song" sounds great, but I'm going to wait for the audiobook so I can sing along. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The N-B-A lockout continues. Which explains the 8-foot man cleaning my windshield this morning. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
On tonight's "Report"-- Can the GOP create jobs? Right now they've got nine applicants for one position. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My guest tonight is singer and activist Harry Belafonte. I'll ask if he ever got a final tally on those bananas. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I don't just oppose gay marriage, I also oppose reggae marriage. It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and a relaxing backbeat. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
http://t.co/QEyswj3Y has a new ad to help solve the basketball lockout. Maybe now we can sit at the jocks' table. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Dick Cheney said he hasn't cried in ten years. Although once a week, he does lubricate his cyber-ocular sensor array. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Ham Rove is one of the greatest conservative meat thinkers since William F. Brisket Jr. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
One of my writers wrote a book called Bad for the Jews http://t.co/Jh9wcakQ. Anybody know how much pay I can dock for a promotional tweet? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Mexico City is turning marriage into a lease. After two years you vacate and they keep your security deposit for emotional damage. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Herman Cain's book is called "This is Herman Cain." It's a lot better than his original title -- "This is Joanna Kerns." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
You know what I love? Buttons. What, does everything I write have to be so damn clever? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
NASA is accepting applications to be an astronaut! AAAGGGHHH!!! Ok, I just put in my own catheter. What's step two? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My gums always bleed in the morning unless I yell "Are you ready for some flossing?!" — PolitiTweet.org
