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Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Sometimes Sarah Palin confuses Rage Against the Machine with their conservative counterparts Obey the Machine. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Awwwwww shucky ducky! It's as much fun to type as it is to shucky duck! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight, my guest Björk's new album combines music and science. When Thomas Dolby tried this, he was tragically blinded. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I just put an invisible fence collar on my Super Pac money so it can't run away again. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If those explosives-detecting dolphins are so smart, how come they've never found a land mine? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Is it weird that when Jon was hanging upside down, I wanted him to wear a Spiderman mask and call me Mary Jane? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Send my SuperPAC hostage $ care packages! Seriously the Ben Franklins have started to eat the Alexander Hamiltons http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
New Money Pro Tip: Don't buy individually-wrapped caviar. Too much work. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Jon Stewart stole my Super PAC, Donate now and write how angry you are on the check's memo line! http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I want to give a Shout Out to Middlebury College, specifically the Half Years and the Coffrin Tales! Enjoy your points. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Working over 11 hrs/day doubles your risk of depression. But when you work in TV, that's a sacrifice you have to have Jay the Intern make. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Bob Dole called Newt Gingrich a "one-man-band who rarely took advice." And worse, he rarely took requests. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Remember: You have to spend money to make money, or in this case, donate money to make Jon give me back my money. http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Jon better not be taking my money to see "Red Tails." I promised my cash we'd see that together! Donate today! http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Dr. Keith Ablow did a great job explaining how Newt Gingrich's negative shortcomings are actually positive tallgoings. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight, my guest Drew Barrymore is in a new movie called "Big Miracle." Finally, a movie about a giant Jesus! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
DAY 4 SuperPac Hostage Crisis! Don't let my money starve--send it some money-food (which is also money)! Donate! http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
It's the Chinese Year of the Dragon. Or it could just be a bootleg lizard with horns glued on. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I have a ton of other children's book ideas. Has anyone ever done an uplifting tale about a kitten on the Titanic? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight's debate was a real barn burner! (Odds are there's a debate tonight, so I'm tweeting just to be safe.) — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight, my guest is Fresh Air's Terry Gross. To properly enjoy my interview, you should watch it while stuck in traffic. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Day 3 of my SuperPAC hostage crisis! Don't hurt my $, Jon! It has sentimental value, & even more monetary value! http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I miss my Super PAC money! Please write how much I love them on a large denomination bill and send it to http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Children's books can be dangerous. Where else can kids find detailed plans on pop-hopping? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Day 2 of my SuperPAC hostage crisis! Please give $ to keep my other money company. http://t.co/QEyswj3Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
SOTU drinking game: One shot after each time Obama says something socialist. If you’re confused, it’s at the end of every sentence. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
To protest WA legalizing gay marriage, I will stop listening to my grunge CDs. And to show how serious I am, I'm stopping in 1995. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Of all my exploratory committee members, I'm going miss Roll of Quarters most. But that's because I haven't done laundry in, like, a month. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Unlike Obama, President Gingrich would NEVER bow to the Saudi King. He's too top heavy to risk leaning forward. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Vote for Herman Cain in the South Carolina primary! If you don't live in South Carolina, relocate! (Not you, illegal immigrants.) — PolitiTweet.org
