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Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I've been waiting by the phone all day, but still no call from Donald Trump. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Until books can buy themselves, it's up to you to purchase AMERICA AGAIN. Once books can buy themselves, we're doomed! http://t.co/rZwyyMzk — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm disappointed my guest's book on the Roman Empire didn't contain one chapter on Little Caesar's crazy bread. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Trump wants Obama's documents by Halloween, because that night he plans to go see the movie FUN SIZE, written by my writer Max Werner. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I try to look on the bright side of everything, except for the sun, because it burns my retinas. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
TONIGHT: My thoughts on the final debate. I thought Bob Schieffer looked really presidential. TCR, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
TONIGHT: My guest John Grisham has written a new legal thriller. I will hold him in contempt. TCR, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A beluga whale trained by humans mimics human sounds. Awww, it thinks it's people! Wait, IT THINKS IT'S PEOPLE! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
There is no place for politics in the workplace -- except for on "Bring your Politics to Work Day." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Vote tampering is a serious crime. If you're a Dem who believes your vote was compromised, alert the Justice Dept at @JusticeLeague. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
You can't spell voter suppression without "I vote!" — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Buy multiple copies of AMERICA AGAIN and save yourself the trouble of making multiple trips to the bookstore! http://t.co/3hDbIeva — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Wanna quick pick me up? Write "Buy AMERICA AGAIN" on yr bucket list, buy my book, cross it off. Life goal achieved! http://t.co/rZwyyMzk — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
@TheKillers killed it tonight! And by 'it' I mean a spider in my dressing room. Thanks, guys! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
AMERICA AGAIN is the perfect gift for anyone who doesn't have a copy of it yet. http://t.co/3hDbIeva — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I wish I could be a cow! You get to eat candy all day with absolutely NO consequences! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
TONIGHT: my guests @TheKillers are a rock band from Vegas. So they can play Paris, New York, and Egypt in the same night! TCR, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A new report says U.S. cholesterol levels have dropped to their lowest point in 20 years. Celebratory omelets on me! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Halloween's right around the corner, so be sure to have a bowlful of "America Again" by the door for trick-or-treaters. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Movie idea: tonight might be a good night to rent one! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My new book AMERICA AGAIN is scratch and sniff. Scratch the pages and they smell just like paper! http://t.co/rZwyyMzk — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
In a surprise twist, the winner of last night's debate is you! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tune in tonight for my debate coverage. I'll tell you who won, who lost, and who wore it better! TCR, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
No fair! Denny's says anyone under 10 eats free - but they don't say if that means "years" or "feet!" — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Scientists say it's likely that our prehistoric ancestors ate pandas. Still no word on what kind of dipping sauce they used. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Buy AMERICA AGAIN for everyone on your list. If you don't have a list, use the phone book. http://t.co/3hDbIeva — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I say Newark Mayor @CoryBooker has what it takes to make it on the national stage: 4 visits to my show. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Thank you, @wolfblitzer! #fillingairtime http://t.co/xsd4kj0Y — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I predict tonight's debate has a DRAMATIC impact on predictions for the next debate. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NIGHT: The Romney-Ryan ticket is firing on all cylinders...a huge improvement for Mitt, who previously was just firing people. TCR,11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
