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Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Ashley Judd has decided against a Congressional run. In a related story, Mitch McConnell isn't making any more movies. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
What lovely people! I wish I could huff them. http://t.co/5swvmlNVye — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If I don't like the Supreme Court's decision on gay marriage I'm going to appeal it all the way to the – oh no! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NIGHT: "I've always suspected that skim milk was gay. It's got Homo-genized right on the carton!" @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE: My guest, Carl Edgar Blake, is a farmer who's bred the perfect pig. I assume it can talk without stuttering. @ColbertReport, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My sister Elizabeth is leading Mark Sanford in the polls! http://t.co/Sg2Pqf1nEn Huh...maybe she could give me the Colbert Busch Bump...? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
TONIGHT: "The Bible says marriage is between one man, and that man's rib. Nothing gay." @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Thanks to Mark Burnett's help, The Bible might become the number one bestselling book of all time! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE: "The Vatican Conclave of Cardinals to name a new pope is like the Christian SuperBowl, but with less thanking Jesus." @ColbertReport — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Guess who's the new Mother of Dragons! #GameOfThrones (hint: it's me!) http://t.co/4ovE4w7AIS — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Election Day in SC 1st district! Remember to vote #SCNation! Vote for the candidate of your choice! Here's one option: http://t.co/4JpeMtWN — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Blew out my one good eardrum diving. On the bright side, I can now blow bubbles with my Eustachian tube! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Jake Tapper launches new show into the Tappersphere! Today! CNN! At 4pm! ...I think. Somebody fact check, and get back to me. @TheLeadCNN — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Midnight @ World of Harry Potter @UniversalORL - guards haven't found me yet. Hiding in Olivanders! #don'ttell #itchoseme! #shhthey'recoming — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Vacaying at World of Harry Potter @UniversalORL. Pretty sure I'm #ChosenOne. Got owl post on 11th bday. Lost letter, but owl was delicious! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm worried I chose the wrong guest. Now I'll never unleash my inner birdhouse. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I face a similar Bachelor-style conundrum every time somebody asks me "soup or salad?" — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
MLB spring training is helping me get my stamina up to watching an entire baseball game this year. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If at first you don't succeed, you're not trying to do easy enough stuff. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The record Dow numbers show once again that a rising tide lifts all boats of people who can afford boats. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NIGHT: "The Snowquester is a combination of snow & the sequester. I think this is fantastic & ridiculous, or Fantasticulous." TCR, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Wonder if the new OZ movie lines up with a Pink Floyd album. Or, since it's produced by Disney, a Selena Gomez album. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
An unmanned drone was spotted over Brooklyn. Apparently, it couldn't afford to fly over Manhattan. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE: My guest @JamesFrancoTV was in SPIDER-MAN & 127 HOURS. If the interview goes poorly, I'll hack off my arm & run away. TCR, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
More guns always = more safety! Just like more alcohol always = better dancing. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Obama's "Jedi mind meld" gaffe finally got nerds mad enough to complain about something on the Internet. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Using a speechwriter is weak. Bush just threw Magnetic Poetry at a fridge. I loved when he said "The state of our union is enormous acumen." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
TONIGHT: "As of 8 p.m. Central Vatican Time, we are officially Pope-less. We have undergone a Pope-endectomy." @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The Harlem Globetrotters visited North Korea. Apparently, Pyongyang had a rash of cartoon ghost mysteries. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Happy Cinqo De Mayo! (I have no idea when/what that is--I don't speak Spanish. Just trying to court some Latinos.) — PolitiTweet.org
