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Showing page 152 of 211.
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Now that there's no porn in Britain, how am I supposed to keep up with Downton Booby? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Remember: Only print 1 Obamacare card per person. After all, this is a real fake government document. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
"Detroit retirees, if u budget rite, u can afford everything u need: food, rent, a cue ball in a sock to fight off hungry raccoons." 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
North Carolina is planning to legalize guns on playgrounds and in bars--two places where nobody ever gets in fights! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
With a name like George Alexander Louis, the royal baby is destined to have three names. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I've still got royal baby fever, but I don't know how serious it is because it's in centigrade. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE ON TCR!: "This new photo of Anthony Weiner is only the tip of the iceberg. Well, and some of the shaft." @ColbertReport, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The royal baby was honored with a 41-gun salute today. Unfortunately, it happened right after Kate finally got him to sleep. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE on TCR!: America has a long-overdue conversation about race. Then, when it gets awkward, about sports. @ColbertReport, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE!: Controversy in the fast food industry. Turns out "fourth meal" is really just "second dinner." @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
@nickolasmerrill Says "I love Stephen Colbert!" — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE!: I sit down with actor Jeff Bridges, assuming he doesn't get sucked into my computer. @ColbertReport, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
So what if Congress slashed food stamps. You can still get plenty of nutrition from licking regular stamps. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE!: My guest is @JerrySeinfeld. If he plays his cards right, this appearance could lead to him getting a show of his own! @ColbertReport — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
For the 1st time, a drone landed itself on an aircraft carrier. Wake me up when it learns 2 play volleyball against a shirtless Val Kilmer. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE!: My guest is @davidkarp, founder of tumblr. Parents, ask your kids. Then call me and let me know what it is. @ColbertReport 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE!: I'm back from a glorious 2-week vacation. I feel years younger, and yet strangely, 2 weeks older. @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Happy 4th of July! If you go 2 sleep tonight with the same number of fingers you woke up with, did you REALLY honor our country enough? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
George Lucas recently tied the knot in a beautiful ceremony. In the wedding video, Han toasts first. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Girl Scouts of America struggling to close $347m pension deficit. That's what happens when all your best cookie saleswomen retire at age 11. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A Seattle farmer is raising pigs by feeding them scraps from his pot farm. So get ready for a B.L.T.H.C! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Edward Snowden, if you're reading this tweet, turn yourself in. NSA, if you're reading it, hi!!!! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My guest @Andrew_Solomon wrote a 976pp. book abt raising challenging kids. Perfect 4 overwhelmed parents w/plenty of time 2 read. TCR, 11:30 — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I don't know why farmers need 2 buy chicken cages. Can't poultry engineers just breed a chicken that grows its own cage? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE! My guest is @PaulMcCartney from The Beatles, Wings, and--fingers crossed--The Stevie & Paul Xperience! @ColbertReport, 11:30 pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A lightsaber cane? I don't want to nitpick, but technically if Chewbacca needs help walking, he should use bowcaster crutches. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Learn something new every day. Like, did you know Glenn Frey did not invent the frying pan? And he also didn't invent the Glenning pan. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The book THE CENTER HOLDS is abt Obama's fight 2 win reelection. I haven't read it yet, so don't tell me how it ends. http://t.co/hKiutVsiN5 — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE!: "I don't like newspapers. That's why I don't subscribe 2 any. If I have 2 kill a spider, I use a rolled-up iPad." @ColbertReport — PolitiTweet.org
