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Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A study found people who have sex four or more times a week make more money. Especially if they charge fifty bucks a pop. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Going on vacation. Can't wait to unplug from phone, email, and NSA. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight!: "Energy is so cheap, I can finally realize my dream of making my furnace & air conditioner fight!" @ColbertReport, 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I call 'em like I see 'em! Keyboard! Monitor! Hamburger! (These are all things I'm currently seeing.) — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
You go to jail in Russia for being gay. Someone better arrest those nesting dolls. They're ladies inside other ladies! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A sinkhole opened up in the ground near Disney World. The line to get in it is already 4 hours long. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My guest civil rights pioneer @RepJohnLewis is the subject of a new graphic novel. I'll ask what's a better villain: racism or Green Goblin? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
An Australian politician mistook Islam for a country. But don't criticize her: that's a core tenet of the Australianist faith. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
TONIGHT: Celebrities give back to the community. And, surprise, it's not court-ordered. @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A dead shark was found on the New York City subway. We're gonna need a bigger Metrocard. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My guest is Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk), star of the new Steve Jobs biopic. Good, it'll save me a trip to the Genius Bar. @ColbertReport 11:30p — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
2NITE: Fast food workers stage protests. Too bad it's impossible to understand what they're chanting through the drive-thru speaker. 11:30pm — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Have you seen me boogie to Daft Punk at #Colbchella013? What are you waiting for? Find it here: http://t.co/jDJWz65qix — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Stephest Colbchella '013 starts tomorrow 8/6 with Daft Punk! Are U Ready 2 Rock?! Well, then, please wait just one more day! #Colbchella013 — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight: "MLB suspended A-Rod for a total of 211 games--otherwise known as 'What A Single Baseball Game Feels Like.'" @ColbertReport, 11:30p — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Colbchella '013 kicks off Tues 8/6 with Daft Punk! So now you only have to stay up until 11:30pm EST to get lucky. #Colbchella013 — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
This Tuesday 8/6, don't miss Stephest Colbchella '013: The Song of the Summer Of the Century with special guest Daft Punk. Details to come. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
There's nothing more valuable in life than friendship. I'm just kidding -- it's gold! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Beware of stripper bears. Don't believe them when they say their just stripping to put themselves through Salmon School. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My guest @BryanCranston stars in the final season of BREAKING BAD. But the story goes on in the form of U.S's crippling meth epidemic.11:30p — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Oprah Winfrey's OWN network is finally profitable. Thank goodness--for a while there I was really worried about Oprah. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
@BretBaier Good luck with the morning meeting! Have you thought about doing a story about Benghazi? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Televangelist Pat Robertson says being transgendered isn't a sin. But the question remains: What weather do they cause? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Board games aren't the only family activity getting a makeover. Next road trip, I'm throwing up in the FRONT seat of the car! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Had a dream I was watching Heidi Klum watch Howie Mandel at 10:30 on TBS #dealwithit What could that possibly mean?! #ohwaitiknow — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
"I'm enraged by the Manning trial, in that he had a trial. Those Gitmo prisoners must B dying 2 know how he wrangled that sweet deal."11:30p — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
White Castle may use part-time workers to get around Obamacare. Get ready for "Harold and Kumar Go to Canada for MRIs." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Never bring a knife to a gun fight. But do bring balloons, they're fun to shoot. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm intrigued by this lake at the North Pole. I bet renting a cabana is cheap as hell. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Facebook is near its IPO price. People will keep buying it now as long as their moms don't also acquire stock. — PolitiTweet.org
