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Showing page 147 of 211.
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I understand JK Rowling's writer's remorse. There are episodes of the Report that I think don't have nearly enough me in them. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Just came down with Super Bowl fever. Makes sense, everybody around me yesterday seemed to have it. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
No spoilers for Superbowl XLVIII. I'm only halfway through Superbowl XXII. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I've already painted my chest for the big game this Sunday. However, I'm thinking about adding an accent leg. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My State Of The Union live tweeting begins now. For next year. Wow. Obama sure is taking his sweet time showing up — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Mistakenly bet the Seahawks would win last night's State Of The Union. Obviously the winner was Joe Biden's teeth. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I finally finished my training to become an NFL quarterback. It took ages to spell my name with that Xbox controller. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Disappointed I haven't received any offers from NFL teams yet. Well, the Browns called, but…eh. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If you're a fan of my Superb Owl coverage, tweet about it with the official hashtag, #SUPERBOWL. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The price of stamps is going up to 49 cents? For that price, I'll paint my OWN tiny pictures of New England's Historic Lighthouses! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
New theory: Nate Silver bought one of those Sports Almanacs from the future off of Biff Tannen. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tune in all week for all my exciting Superb Owl XLVIII! It's just like Rocky V, but with more XLIII! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Pope Francis said the internet is "a gift from God." Sounds like somebody hasn't scrolled down to the comments section yet. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
China stole my show, so I'm now claiming credit for papermaking, gunpowder, the Great Wall, and one of the two chopsticks. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Now that Net Neutrality's ended, some people will pay more for the Internet. So if you're reading this tweet, please send me $1.50. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Good Luck @USOlympic Team as you head to Russia – tweet at me if you have a Snowden spotting! #GoTeamUSA — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
In my humble opinion, my opinions are the best. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Ernest Hemingway's terse sentences would've made him great for Twitter. He also had advanced mastery of shirtless pics. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Did you hear Hemingway had a secretary named Fitzgerald and Fitzgerald had a secretary named Hemingway? Because that is not true. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
ces. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tonight we'll discuss Ernest Hemingway, an author who, like me, has the unique ability to fit complex thoughts into short and simple senten — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Don't miss cOlbert's Book Club tonight! And if you do miss it, at least read the episode's Sparknotes. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tomorrow night is my 3rd cOlbert Book Club! Soon, I'll have read 3 books! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Be sure to read "A Farewell To Arms" for the cOlbert Book Club tomorrow. Or at least watch the movie version, "127 Hours." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Tuesday's book club selection is "A Farewell to Arms." I haven't started it yet, but I assume it's like a conservative "Goodnight Moon." — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Can’t believe I wasn’t nominated for #BestActor for my role in “The Colbert Report”. Did I really gain all that weight for nothing? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
So @BillieJeanKing and I clearly have a lot of chemistry. Does that mean I'm a lesbian? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Nobody's talking about the real MLB drug scandal: That the Philly Phanatic is really the Philly Meth Addict. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Hey #Yankees, now that @Arod's out I'd officially like to throw my hat in the ring as– OW! Scratch that, I tore my rotator cuff. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Between you and me, sometimes I feel like there are 5,739,049 other people listening. — PolitiTweet.org
