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Showing page 146 of 211.
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A Chicago man in a Breaking Bad t-shirt was arrested for cooking meth. Memo to self: stop wearing Dexter t-shirt. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Rush Limbaugh can criticize Hillary Clinton's age. After all, he's opted out of aging and gone straight to melting. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Conservatives are trying to make Hillary Clinton's age a campaign issue. It's the ultimate October 1947 Surprise! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Not to brag, but I was into @St_Vincent before she was canonized. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Green update: The Colbert Report went paperless today thanks to a nasty paper jam. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The "Got Milk" ad campaign is ending after 20 years. Oh no. Now how will people hear about milk? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I forgot what I wanted to tweet here. Thanks a lot, Obamacare! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Ukraine News: Oleksandr Turchinov has replaced Pres. Viktor Yanukovych in what many in Kiev are calling a pjrlk5jawfka&ldkps. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Get the official 2014 US Speedskating Team T-Shirt, so in 2018 you can say you were into them before it was cool. http://t.co/TXJXzGNkt2 — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Just got an alert from Sochi - my hotel is finally ready. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm not saying the radiation from O'Reilly's microwave caused my superhuman gravitas, but bid now to find out. http://t.co/cabkJsSfBl — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Bid on Bill O'Reilly's microwave! http://t.co/cabkJsSfBl It's been signed by me, Stanley McChrystal, and whoever G.E. is. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
TONIGHT: Legendary American skier Bode Miller stops by the Report. I'll ask him if the Super G is just the Regular G without eyeglasses. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Did you know that "gif" is actually pronounced "gif"? (tweet dictated, not read) — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm working on a Buzzfeed list of the top 50 states in no particular order. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Congratulations to Team USA for all the gold medals! Remember: You represent all Americans, so 1/315 millionth of that gold is mine. Pay up! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I hope Buddy Cole finds gay propaganda in Russia. Or at least figures out why those hammers & sickles are rubbing up against each other. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
You can bid on my Bill O'Reilly's microwave! http://t.co/cabkJsSfBl Free shipping if you live within however far I can throw a microwave! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Been searching for that six-to-ten year old microwave taste in your re-heated bagel bites? Look no further! http://t.co/cabkJsSfBl! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I never use gendered pronouns because I only ever talk about myself. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Congrats to @jimmyfallon - Today, the Tonight Show; Tomorrow, the Today Show! #watchtcolbert #tivofallon http://t.co/JpKNweMd8w — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A study says that teens are more stressed than adults. Relax, kids, it's not important unless it affects the ENTIRE REST OF YOUR LIFE! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A new study revealed that crocodiles can climb trees. Great, another animal I have to worry about pooping on me. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I love the Olympics! It's like the World Cup of all the sports I care about more than soccer. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Prediction: America will take home the gold in tonight's Opening Ceremonies!#GoTeamUSA — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Let the games begin! SPOILER ALERT: Team USA wins every medal. Twice. #GoTeamUSA — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Journalists in Sochi are tweeting about horrible hotel conditions. Specifically, they're all full of whiney journalists. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
My guest tonight is NYT columnist Paul Krugman. But if he's here, who's taking care of his high horse? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Facebook has a great new feature that lets you relive the last ten years of procrastination and wasted time in one efficient minute! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Why couldn't Pussy Riot call themselves something a little more polite, like "Vagina Scuffle"? — PolitiTweet.org
