Elizabeth Bruenig

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

ja ja ding dong should win best song @ oscars — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

RT @nytopinion: No crime — in fact, no harm — is ever undone, and no loss affected by moral evil is ever entirely restored, writes @ebrueni… — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@sarahpfish if he would’ve been scared off prior to four years in, that would’ve suggested he wasn’t right for someone who did not want to wait four+ years for commitment. If you’re ok with waiting four+ years then the advice doesn’t really apply to you I’d think — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@CTowersCBS Right it seems like the values gap there is much wider than a discrete difference in opinion — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@HayesBrown @jbouie "if you could tell 200,000 people anything, what would you say?" "daredevil would be an enthusiastic biden voter and probably a biden campaign volunteer while spiderman would be a bernie bro who inexplicably didn't turn out on super tuesday" — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@jbouie this is the nature of all primo accounts imho — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

100% me — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

such an abhorrent reality here. giving birth shouldn't be a special luxury reserved for the rich. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@JPober i'd think of it as risk-mitigation, basically, and there's not really a terminal point for adopting it as a strategy imho. never a bad time to start trying to do what you believe will give you what you need in life...imho. many imhos here. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@JPober right, i'm not saying any one strategy eliminates risk -- there's always risk of being unhappy for one of any billion reasons. i'm just saying that whenever you get an inkling that x life pattern would likely do what you need your life pattern to do for you, be verbal about it — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@JPober But that problem is nonunique. You can also date, hook up, etc in a totally conventional way and still fall victim to that. All I'm saying is, at the point at which you're willing to commit, just be upfront about it, even though it's lame. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@JPober Now: Is it possible some sociopathic liar will manipulate you for their own sadistic pleasure? Sure, always possible. So you married an axe murderer, or worse, didn't marry a person you thought was invested in marriage. That badly sucks. Nothing can prevent that. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@JPober But the 'self' is always changing. You just accrue relationships, values, and obligations — the things that *constitute* a self — and those things tell you what you have to do, which tells you who you are. You can do that sooner or later! — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@NorthCaroliNats yes you have to make yourself unappealing to those guys by being extremely square and very, very, very straightforward about it — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@tschu_22 i'm...not? not all women even want to settle down, lotta different ways to be happy out there — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

anyway, i'm not saying anybody's gotta do this! nobody has to do this. in fact, it's because this is now simply one life pattern among many available that it's worth being upfront and intentional about it if you want it. it's not just going to happen to you. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

2.) you've gotta commit to the one thing and completely stop even distantly considering other things. when i was in college and engaged, it wasn't as though other guys didn't show interest, it's that i chose to politely decline the interest. commit to the bit. no more shopping. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

i think that if you want this life pattern, you've got to dispense with a couple of things that are antithetical to it: 1.) you've gotta find 'the one.' nobody knows who they're marrying. people change vastly over time. you've gotta be committed to the commitment, not a sensation — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

it's not like i hadn't been asked out before; i had. those guys just found the spiel extremely weird and lame, as was their right. they moved on — as they should have, as the whole thing didn't appeal to them! — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

source: knew from a young age i was a huge dork. didn't bother hiding it. met my husband when i was 16, supplied the: "listen man, i'm a big dork and all i want to do is get married, build a household, and have kids" spiel. he was into it. married at 23, baby #1 at 25. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@abusurdist @tschu_22 i don't think it's necessarily fraudulent or inauthentic if there's never been any discussion of expected outcomes — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

yeah, bc norms don't herd everyone into the same life patterns anymore, and the whole 'i just want to settle down asap' thing is now a little square. you don't want your cool date to think you're a dork. but...if you know you *are* in fact a dork, there's no point in hiding it — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@abusurdist @tschu_22 anything not explicitly excluded by the tweet, which is virtually everything, could factor in. the more parsimonious way to think of the scenario described is to presume it's meant plainly: long relationships where partners had different expectations. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@abusurdist @tschu_22 ok, but the original tweet had nothing to do with abuse, it was about a man dating a woman without intending to marry her, while the woman intended to marry the man at some point. nothing about that even implies abuse. sure, abuse could also factor in. so could aliens. — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@tschu_22 Hmm I think of abuse as something categorically different than wasting someone's time — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@tschu_22 But we're not talking about abusive relationships, we're talking about relationships where the people want different things, right? — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@tschu_22 but if you can't even talk to the man about marriage and you want to be married, then you should not be with him! — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@abusurdist i'm not sure that's true! — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

i think you just gotta be totally upfront about wanting to be married and sort out the people who aren't sure if they want to be married or not, or think there's some future chance they might want to be married but aren't sure. committers gotta find committers imho — PolitiTweet.org

Elizabeth Bruenig @ebruenig

@JPober Lie detector machines are preposterous as a concept imho — PolitiTweet.org