Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just found a great recipe on Buzzfeed for “Easy One-Ingredient Banana Slices.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

You never learn that someone is a vegan from a third party. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

#MayThe4thBeWithYou and may it not be with @JordanSchlansky. https://t.co/lsbDS0UNpK — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s like jury duty, one day you find a letter in your mailbox asking you to be in the next “Expendables” movie. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’m told I speak Swedish with an Ikea accent. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Congratulations @CynthiaDSweeney on your great novel, #TheNest! I inhaled it in one sitting, and now I’m high on prose. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The sole purpose to this tweet is to see if @AndyRichter has put me on mute. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Playing that drinking game where you open a bottle of wine. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

May the pelicans discover your koi pond (Malibu curse) — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This #CluelessGamer features @SethRogen, @ZacEfron, and more crudely drawn penises than you can count. https://t.co/6SrZ6so7qo — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This online security question wants to know the name of my first pet, but I was too busy running the farm to name the ants. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Yes I own a pair of leather pants, but they’re khaki-colored. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

But, which candidate will make the hashtag symbol available on personalized license plates? #politics #issues #hashtags #COCO4U — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Is that a banana in your pants, or is it a different penis-shaped fruit? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Hey @starburst – you can stop making the yellow ones. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'm not a gambling man, but I'd wager $100 at 5 to 1 odds that I will be one day. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I always thought DWTS stood for Dancing With T.S. Eliot. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Ted Cruz is just a normal guy with hand sanitizer running through his veins just like everyone else. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

KFC is undergoing a $185 million upgrade of its restaurants. Or, they could just pay a kid $25 to paint over the “white plantation owner.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s only gotten more and more awkward in recent weeks that “Bernie” and “Hillary” are what I’ve named my testicles. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just heard Charlize Theron will play the villain in "Fast & Furious 8." This is the fifth role I've lost to her since "Monster." — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Wow, time flies. It’s hard to believe that there are only 15343474788 more baseball games to go in the regular season! — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Every generation just wants their kids to have a better “Spiderman” reboot than they did. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This morning, someone recognized me on the street and said, “I’m a huge fan of your effort.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

#ConanKorea airs again NOW on TBS. I’ve never been so proud of a show that could technically be classified as an international incident. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I appeared in a Korean soap with the lovely @narajjang318. Pretty sure that Korean Emmy is in the bag. #ConanKorea https://t.co/vNezHVqgWm — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My live @YouTube Q&A about #ConanKorea starts now. Tell your boss it's educational. https://t.co/UcoiOCKjOJ https://t.co/eFwOjz1BZt — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'm not sure what's going on in @FollowJYP's music video, but I'm glad that @SteveYeun & I could help. #ConanKorea https://t.co/6oAVoP60ov — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Watch #ConanKorea, where I mastered the language, hung out with @SteveYeun, & became BFF with an octopus @ https://t.co/zQNbQ07zOD — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This is either going ruin my career or make it. Thanks a lot, @followJYP. #ConanKorea https://t.co/6oAVoP60ov — PolitiTweet.org