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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Wait a minute. Taylor Swift dropped her entire catalogue on Spotify last week and I'm supposed to think of funny tweets right now? No. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just in time for Father's Day, the perfect gift from Jeff Sessions. https://t.co/NtbJK5tZqD — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just when I thought he couldn’t get any cooler, @JustinTrudeau just showed up in my home and offered to make me crab cakes. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Before the invention of popcorn, people would just eat dried kernels of corn, then stick their face in a fire until their teeth exploded. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
God Bless Adam West https://t.co/9OK7kHNZHS — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m organizing a “creeps-only” screening of Wonder Woman in my rented storage container. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trump wakes up every morning and says, "Today I'll act like a president." But then his thumbs say, "Oh, no, you won't." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tomorrow, me and 12 friends are going to an ESPN Zone to watch the former head of the FBI testify before Congress. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trump said he plans to privatize air traffic control so I look forward to overhearing my drive-thru cashier landing a plane between orders. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Soon, playing Spiderman will be like getting called to serve on jury duty. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Very honored and humbled to be headlining at Red Lobster’s “ShrimpFest!” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There used to be a time when we didn’t have access to all the world’s knowledge while sitting on the toilet. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My new thing is to take photos of my meal AFTER I've eaten it. This was an apple with almond butter. https://t.co/bptoZ1leFa — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I watch pro wrestling not for entertainment, but to evaluate our next crop of presidential candidates. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Happy 10th Anniversary to PornHub, a website I just now heard about. Seriously. Just now. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Today would have been JFK's 100th birthday. Honor his legacy by learning more about him. https://t.co/7ba38JaXZx — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trump is very relieved to be back in America, where he understands what the protestors are saying. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Enjoy bonus footage of @GalGadot kicking my ass @ https://t.co/4hKhM434xd #WonderWoman https://t.co/xA6fxB1tNM — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I no longer think Trump conspired with Russia to win the election, because he would have bragged about it to a barista by now. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I asked @GalGadot to meet me in a warehouse and teach me how to fight. For some reason, she agreed. #WonderWoman https://t.co/GvzmymIpHa — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“The snake has said all he’s going to say about the matter.” - Sean Spicer at the Garden of Eden — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trump is to US Presidents as Godzilla is to US Presidents. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Someday we'll all look back on this and scream. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I would try soy hot dogs, but I’m afraid they’re full of soy lips and snouts. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The biggest surprise in the upcoming “Han Solo” prequel is that he was born Henry Solowitz in Parsippany, NJ. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Mike Pence is dreamily writing "President Mike Pence" on his spiral notebook. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“Can you believe the latest Trump thing?” has become the new “’sup.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hey @mutualofomaha, u up? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I wanted to spend more time with my family, but they insisted I do this instead: https://t.co/trx4e2gBVx — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Please respect my privacy at this time, but I am leaving my family for the sexy robot in “Ex Machina.” — PolitiTweet.org
