Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This year, I'm breaking with tradition a little and stuffing my turkey with delusions of grandeur. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Great news: scientists have bred a turkey that tastes exactly like tofurkey. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

President Trump didn’t pardon the whole turkey, just the white meat. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This week, 90% of all calls and texts are men contacting women in their past to say, "Are we cool?" — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A few months ago while in Israel, I met a man named Ofer Aloni. He shared a moving story about the loss of his daug… https://t.co/FDucbrgb35 — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Starting to think I shouldn't have ordered a hot sauce called "Satan's Butthole." — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I gave blood today. It's more fun when it's on purpose. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I like to think of myself as “The Blind Woman’s Ryan Gosling.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Took what I thought was a private hike with my friend @kevin_nealon. Now I see this. Sad. https://t.co/paUFp3aarg — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

#Lineage2Revolution cinema quality graphics will make your flat screen so irrelevant, you won’t even mind when I de… https://t.co/xCijcp5PQK — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

#Lineage2Revolution cinema quality graphics will make your flat screen so irrelevant, you won’t even mind when I destroy it. Download @ https://t.co/nKRv6h8tXg to play on your phone. https://t.co/LHEpNVGNAY — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Fall in LA, when the trees get work done to look like they’ve changed color. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’m starting to think this bobblehead on my desk is nothing but a “yes-man.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

“I’m sure those two drunk guys with knives at the end of the bar will work this out peacefully.” – (Kim Jong Un/Trump Metaphor Tweet) — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Me, after my Uber driver asked, “What’s Andy really like?” https://t.co/KgokzRkagE — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I believe that when we die, we all become podcasts. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'm ready for the all-female reboot of America. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Dumbest move of my life: taking a Lyft from NY back to LA. Toyota Yaris. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Thanks to Will Ferrell and @mark_wahlberg for coming all the way to #ConanNYC to talk about Boston. https://t.co/dIAgFc9py7 — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I saw the most beautiful thing in Manhattan today: a Chase Bank giving birth to a litter of baby Chase Banks. #ConanNYC — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Honored to have President @BillClinton join me at The @ApolloTheater. #ConanNYC https://t.co/dQvrpFyQ6c — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Gorgeous New York City! How I have missed your empty apartments owned by Russians laundering money. #ConanNYC — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Thanks to Jon Stewart for helping me launch my @Omaze campaign to benefit @nextforautism. Enter to be my co-host fo… https://t.co/jUc5hSLZXo — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Tonight on #ConanNYC, Jon Stewart and I ask each other some bullshit questions. https://t.co/nZ7cHwAgMr — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Our heroes in uniform stood up for us. It's now our turn to #Stand4Heroes with the Bob Woodruff Foundation.… https://t.co/0Zz3QlngNJ — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I came back to NYC to tape my show at The Apollo and retrieve this bag of Cheez-Its I left on the L train last year… https://t.co/0aYsx3bVcJ — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Thanks to Harlem style icon @DapperDanHarlem for swagging me up and down. https://t.co/jUOrT89Bda #ConanNYC — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

First day back in New York and I've already received dirty looks from 7 different police horses. #ConanNYC — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

So glad my younger self did not know that my older self would be drinking canned water from France. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A real man should know how to order whiskey: on the rocks, in a stemmed glass, and replaced with white wine. — PolitiTweet.org