Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

In his new movie, Liam Neeson is “taken” in an elderly insurance scam. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I know an awesome recipe for opening soup. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A) I’ve never been to Richmond, VA and B) I showed you my tattoo in confidence. https://t.co/BYLgaJtSIQ — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

President Oprah would sit down with Kim Jong-un for at least three segments. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I finally finished a Chapstick without losing it or putting it through the wash. Time to die. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Funyuns: not all that fun. Discuss. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

In LA, I have trouble guessing how old people my age are. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If you haven’t yet seen the movie, “The Shape of Water,” SPOILER ALERT: Whatever shape container you put it in. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The Mega Millions drawing is going to make someone an instant Republican. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It's starting to look like the Russia investigation will finally bring Trump down. And by bring down, I mean get him reelected. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

One thing we can expect from this fight between Donald Trump and Steve Bannon: A lot of heavy, labored breathing. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Personally I'm secure about the size of my nuclear button. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Still waiting for Donald Trump to be downgraded to a tropical shit storm. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

How many people have been wrongly charged with murder because they’d just finished eating a pomegranate? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

2018: what could go right? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Sad! This is the spread at the Mar-a-Lago New Year's party! https://t.co/fAbMMkjQtB — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I can’t wait until 2017 is over. And 2018, 19, and 20. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

After what happened to 2017, 2018 is refusing to come out of its room. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A hilarious thing to do when you're waiting too long for something is roll your eyes and say "What IS this, the Mueller probe?" — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Let me put an end to the rumors: the creature in "The Shape of Water" is not me in hi-def. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My egg nog koi pond looks beautiful, especially with all the fish resting on the surface oh my God what have I done? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Happy Holidays to those of you who celebrate holidays. #Bases #Covered — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I love my family's Christmas Eve tradition of gathering around the piano and telling Uncle Sean to put his pants back on. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I met Santa at the Macy’s in Seattle. He’s now suing me for breaking his femur. #MerryChristmasEve https://t.co/IEQDP6PELg — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The most commonly spoken phrase this week in all homes - "Do you have the Scotch tape?” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Not a good sign: the first thing on Trump's Christmas list is one of those jackets like Mussolini wore. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

In Seattle for Christmas and there’s only one way to travel: Monorail!!! #Simpsons #HoJu https://t.co/B8xBLehBuQ — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Stuck on a gift for Senator Mitch McConnell? You can't go wrong with body glitter. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Rich people are really going to take a bath with this new tax plan. In money. They will bathe in money. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Reading about the White House while watching #TheCrown. Could they, would they, consider taking us back? — PolitiTweet.org