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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I told my kids that at their age I had to watch VHS tapes on school safety, and they said “what’s school safety?” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If bumblebees truly do communicate through dance, what are the white ones supposed to do? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
President Trump will be attending Evangelist Billy Graham’s funeral. So apparently, Graham’s being buried at a golf course. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When our kids were babies, my wife and I played them Salieri instead of Mozart, and now they’ve grown into jealous, brooding schemers. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
It’s your last chance to enter to be my co-host for a night. Enter now to help me host #CONAN and support… https://t.co/ClnvlMSjyr — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I was in Black Panther. Not the movie, the live sex club in Atlanta. I was asked to leave. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Watch the premiere of #FinalSpace tonight @ 10:30/9:30c on @TBSNetwork followed by my interview with creator @OlanRogers. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m available to represent Hungary in the 2022 Winter Games. Just tell me the sport and I’ll start taking lessons. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trump’s plan to save the environment is to arm the trees with pollution. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If I could play any musical instrument in the world, it would be a violin that has twenty million dollars hidden inside it. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just went to this crazy 80s retro party where we ended up invading Grenada. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
They should make brownies that look like joints but contain no marijuana. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can't stand wheelchairs. Damn, I messed up the punctuation on that one. It should be: "I can't stand! Wheelchairs?" — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Mike Pence just won a gold medal in his winter Olympics event, “the frozen stare.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'd say the worst example of a retailer piggybacking on a cool movie's hype is the new Macy's campaign: "BLACK PANT(s for) HER" — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Our Italian adventure is over. Ciao for now and stay tuned. #ConanItaly https://t.co/e24oi8juyR — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm not saying everyone in LA is stoned, but a cop just pulled me over to give me a high 5. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Is anyone else listening to that podcast in their car, the one with the sobbing woman who says I'm not a podcast, d… https://t.co/0BP1pGy3bG — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
#HappyValentinesDay https://t.co/VCgad9zWlh — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The highlight of Carnevale in Viareggio was meeting Sardinian Captain and Mrs. Crunch. #ConanItaly https://t.co/ZLA6GZ36Ae — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Took @jordanschlansky to Carnevale in Viareggio. One of us had a great time. #ConanItaly https://t.co/zFGVAmQZkN — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Arrivederci, Florence. Time to hit the road. Andiamo! #ConanItaly https://t.co/c7KLD42Pel — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
#NSFW #ConanItaly https://t.co/wi17tCXgYP — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Ciao! I just arrived in #Italy to film a new episode of #ConanWithoutBorders, and brought along a friend. It’s goin… https://t.co/5xJqNvCcBO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I hope the newly announced “Indiana Jones 5” retells the entire saga from the point of view of the snakes. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I don’t know how this happened but apparently I was just traded to the Cavaliers??? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Still trying to figure out how Nancy Pelosi’s 8-hour speech fits into the Cloverfield Universe. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
So you’re telling me, I’m the *only* person at this party who thought the “B” in “BYOB” stands for “Botulism?” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Scientists have recreated the face of a teenage girl from 9,000 years ago. Careful analysis shows she died of embar… https://t.co/8MO91irRRO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just found out my spirit animal is a therapy poodle. — PolitiTweet.org
