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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I miss the rites of spring from my childhood, the snow melting, the birds chirping, me being cut from the baseball team. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m pretty sure the audience appreciated my standing up repeatedly and saying, “Actually, it’s PANTHER OF COLOR.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I took fake Italian and real CONAN employee @jordanschlansky to Italy. Watch #ConanItaly April 11th @ 10/9c on… https://t.co/c5ToK5EE3M — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@JuddApatow did a beautiful job making #TheZenDiariesOfGarryShandling. It’s about so much more than a great comedy… https://t.co/1A6str5rMQ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I hope President Trump knows what he’s doing with these tariffs. Just had two eggrolls at Panda Express and it cost me $611.00. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Saying John Bolton looks like a walrus isn't fair. He looks like a muppet walrus judge. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
75-year-old Joe Biden wants to fight 71-year-old Donald Trump. The winner takes on Bob Newhart. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Radiohead just beat out The Cure in my March Sadness bracket. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Ben Affleck’s back tattoo has given me the courage to share mine: https://t.co/hFL5G8HpQY — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Donald Trump, Jr. has brought shame to his family name by only having one divorce. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Wow, the new President of Russia looks so much like the old President! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trump has become such a divisive figure, I’m afraid he’s ruined that hairstyle for other men. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Putin is going to win re-election in a landslide. Because his opponent is going to die mysteriously in a landslide. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Read the tweet above this. Now read the tweet below this. COINCIDENCE??? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Sometimes I feel bad for Melania, but then I remember she once killed another model with her teeth. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The chances of picking a perfect March Madness bracket are 1 in 9.2 quintillion. Which sounds impossible, but 5 yea… https://t.co/U5z7F3T2r2 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My new workout regimen: sumo wrestling with @KevinHart4Real. Watch us on @WhatTheFit — only on the @LOLNetwork chan… https://t.co/agPKyblMvT — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@TheRock was born to be an action hero. I was born to be his stunt double. #RampageMovie https://t.co/5hMsVlyg0z — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Most people don't realize @AndyRichter has been a hologram for the last five years. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
President Trump has been consulting with Bill Clinton’s impeachment lawyer. The lawyer is a partner at the firm of “Notta, Good, & Sign.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
DID YOU KNOW: Hot Dog on a Stick was originally established as a warning to hot dogs who betray the King. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My show is not on TV tonight, but you can still laugh and cry while watching the March Madness Selection Show @ 6pm ET on @TBSNetwork. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if he had a CHUCK-CO Wood-a-Pult 4000? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“McMaster” sounds like what happens when a German guy makes up an Irish name. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Years ago my siblings bought me a commemorative brick outside Ford’s Theatre in DC. Suck it, all other celebrities! https://t.co/2iOtSBIvJU — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Happy #InternationalWomensDay. Thank you to all the women who work on my show. https://t.co/sAFSv7YECA — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Netflix announced it will release over 700 original TV series and movies this year. That explains their new slogan, “Quantity.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There’s too much news now. I just found out about the new aluminum tariff from my Snapple cap. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
March came in like a lion and was shot by some rich a-hole. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My favorite wine is a 1965 Timothee Chalamet. — PolitiTweet.org
