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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
All I want for Father's Day is for my kids to stop calling me "Not-Dwayne-Johnson." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m still confident Tiffany Haddish will not reveal what I did at a party to Steve Martin. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
One big perk of being part of the new AT&T/Time Warner family is I now have access to the exclusive FIFTH bar. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There's no one I'd rather go Super Saiyan with than @RonFunches. https://t.co/w9pzicAGwp #CluelessGamer #DBLegends — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My goal is to be featured in a piece about celebrities called "You'll definitely believe what they look like today" — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Thank you to @ProdevHaiti and my young friends at Ecole Nouvelle Zoranje for sending me this beautiful mural. https://t.co/4LmbnRYNqL — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
After I retire, I want to move to Vermont and confuse visitors by opening a “Bed OR Breakfast.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hard to believe that it used to take days, even weeks, to call someone you disagreed with “Hitler.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hats off to the team of puppeteers who control Rudy Giuliani’s facial expressions. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
President Trump and Kim Jong Un reportedly have different ideas of the word “denuclearize.” It’s just like “Laurel… https://t.co/woqpuizfVx — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Great news, my mom just called to say Scott Pruitt bought a broken ottoman from her garage sale for $275,000. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
RT @ConanOBrien: @nickkroll @NickKroll That's weird, look what I just found in my potato. https://t.co/4PATZi2xCl — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
@nickkroll @NickKroll That's weird, look what I just found in my potato. https://t.co/4PATZi2xCl — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
To make my grandfather proud, every June 6th I storm the beach at Malibu. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
In a show of solidarity today, I baked a cake for my friends who are a gay couple. It was terrible and they threw it in the garbage. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Ever go to Starbucks in the late afternoon and see that one slice of lemon poppy seed loaf alone in the display cas… https://t.co/MPv059CmcG — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
One of Jesus's greatest miracles? He was a carpenter, but He didn't bring it up every time you met Him. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
America Ferrara had a baby. I’d like to see Trump claim that kid wasn’t born in “America.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed hiking the Appalachian Trail these past 22 days with Melania Trump. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I did not know that "prison reform" was something I could talk about with Kim Kardashian. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trump! Right? Wow. <--- just RT this when applicable. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There's nothing worse than people online who feel they can just command others to discuss a topic they bring up. Discuss. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
So there's going to be a Boba Fett movie, but still nothing for that show-stealing temptress, the Thala-Siren?!? https://t.co/ujBBPcwQ08 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can't find anyone to see Solo with me this weekend, so I guess I'll be flying…alone. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can finally rest easy knowing that https://t.co/eTwLq6ckgg has updated their privacy policy. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My wife’s new nickname for me is “Prince Harry if I squint.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I never get more than halfway through my sci-fi movie pitch before my therapist says, "our time is up." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I played #TheShow18 with fellow great athlete Aaron Judge (@TheJudge44). #CluelessGamer https://t.co/1dq02U7Egi — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
It is a time of turmoil. It is a time of confusion. It is a time of great tidings but also of grave misgivings. It… https://t.co/3X46jQRCWz — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The only thing keeping me from starting my own doomsday sex cult is that I look terrible in sunglasses. — PolitiTweet.org
