Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My doctor says I should eat more red meat and drink more alcohol. BTW, I consider all waiters doctors. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I hit a deer with my car. Pretty impressive considering the deer was in the zoo. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'm hitting the road for an 18-city tour and bringing my funniest friends with me. Tickets go on sale Friday @ 10am… https://t.co/WWeeZ3gaLO — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

You gotta hand it to ticket takers. I’m sorry. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s time to register to vote for the 2018 midterms. Text “VOTER” to 40649 or visit @HeadCountOrg @… https://t.co/QWhGUbhXeg — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This country has become so divided, it might as well be an amoeba. Netflix, where's my comedy special? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Since the new "Captain Marvel" trailer came out, at least 7 people have hit me in the face then said, "Now THAT'S h… https://t.co/07LWuGiEhV — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Historical fact: The city of Buffalo, New York was founded by Dutch trader Anton van Wild Wings. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

One huge perk about being famous is, you can walk into any Olive Garden restaurant and get free unlimited breadsticks. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’ve left instructions that after I die, I’m to be cremated and sold as a detergent additive. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Hey, Los Angeles, I'll be stopping by tonight's @upandup with @MosesStorm. Get tickets here https://t.co/whhzVdkOCb — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s officially 22 shopping days until Mario Lopez’s birthday. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Spent the weekend binge-watching every Verizon commercial. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The new iPhone Xs will let you have two different phone #s on one phone. Congratulations, adulterers! — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Thanks to Paul McCartney, now when people ask about my 25 year relationship with Andy Richter, I can say, “we’re fr… https://t.co/yNqZlgSwO2 — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Whenever I see a newborn baby, I realize they have absolutely no clue how many binge-worthy shows they now have to catch up on. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

25 years ago today, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" premiered. Here's the first episode, on loan from the Smithsoni… https://t.co/wEMtmPW5Cv — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Do I believe in climate change? Well, I just saw a mosquito steal a bike. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I got one of those robotic dogs. Calm down, it’s a rescue. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

.@Daniel_Sloss just released two hilarious stand-up specials. You have my permission to watch them at work. https://t.co/2Pz3TTqfna — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

“Plum” is, by far, the dirtiest sounding fruit. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

That’s a wrap on #ConanJapan. Sayonara. 🇯🇵 https://t.co/HaoWuAAcuD — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A year ago this couple, Michael and Kayo invited me to their wedding. I couldn’t make it so instead I flew to Japan… https://t.co/DHoYZ7e2ZC — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Last night I brought karaoke to Japan. (At least I’m assuming it’s not a big thing here). #ConanJapan https://t.co/Ftj5TQvJ0U — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Shot something super secret with #HideoKojima. Coming soon. #ConanJapan https://t.co/J44hzEGQEn — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

After 5 days, I now read and speak fluent Japanese. #ConanJapan https://t.co/4rnnCT5qsA — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

RIP Burt Reynolds. He was like no other. https://t.co/hLQgctLVzp — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

#ConanJapan https://t.co/5dXoIhwxlx — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I was asked to join a totally impromptu parasol dance in my honor by the Governor. I think im losing my mind.… https://t.co/4ShZBQ4Vnm — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I finally made it to Conan Town. The mayor gave me an honorary sash, and I gave him one. #ConanJapan https://t.co/iWzncNvyad — PolitiTweet.org