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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Visit https://t.co/nsCTOuZpDq to bid on four VIP tickets to my show in Burbank. All proceeds go to @HomesForOurTrps… https://t.co/UkknWkWIYg — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Unfortunately, this morning I said, “Kids, let’s gather ‘round my iPhone and see why Jill Scott is trending!” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Like Trump, I also try to avoid the rain due to my hair, but only because mine grows 5 times its normal size and be… https://t.co/zxRQlU1aEj — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Back in 1995, I had the pleasure of talking to Stan Lee about his 50 years in comic books. Rest in peace, Stan. https://t.co/zPbwAhZJVg — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
"Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend" combines my two passions: making friends and selling mattresses. Listen to a preview… https://t.co/zmrDfWRaKh — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Nope. That wasn’t me at CVS loudly humming along to that “Smooth” Santana/Rob Thomas song. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
New drinking game: drink every time you feel anxious and sad. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Visit https://t.co/QeFv9XuPOE to bid on a meet and greet with my friend @jaketapper. All proceeds go to… https://t.co/ifzB8oGqlb — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My apologies to LA Zoo officials. I thought giraffes could handle Chipotle. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If you’re near a losing candidate’s headquarters this evening, stop by for a good deal on balloons and room temperature hors d’oeuvres. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
At the end of the day, this election comes down to one question: do you like stickers? #vote #stickers — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just walked into an Arby’s and asked, “What’s fresh today?” The cashier pointed to her cold sore. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
This is an unbelievable statistic: 18% of all statistics are falsely inflated 106% of the time. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Call me old fashioned, but I find beautiful women incredibly attractive. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just read my old pal Mike Reiss' book on writing for The Simpsons and it's great. Put down that classic Russian nov… https://t.co/qJjHCfeAHr — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Thank you D.C. for an incredible first show. See you soon Atlantic City. #ConanAndFriends https://t.co/GOechbuRbM — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My personal style can best be described as “Trader Joe’s cashier.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Jared Kushner could sell ice to a polar bear (in 2040, when there is no ice left). — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The barista said she liked my Dia de los Muertos skeleton costume. I'm not wearing a costume. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dear trick-or-treaters: Would it kill you to say “thank you” when I hand you a freshly made egg salad sandwich? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hey Boston, a few more tickets have just been released for my 10pm show at @The_Wilbur on 11/6. Get them while you… https://t.co/BMRkswq45o — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Red Dead Redemption 2 is incredibly realistic, except for the turn signals on the horses. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“I’ve never owned a van,” is fast becoming one of my best qualities. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I stayed in tonight and watched the Fall Classic. (“Autumn in New York” with Richard Gere and Winona Ryder) — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The National Weather Service is letting me name the next hurricane. Watch out for Tropical Storm Dr. Sanjay Gupta. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Is it weird that my ballot was in Russian? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I didn’t win the lottery, but I’m still planning on dying alone. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I was up all night, worried about this caravan of people who are willing to do the jobs that most Americans won’t. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Last year, my family started a tradition of putting up a “Christmas skeleton” because it works so well with our oth… https://t.co/avW5QxPZ5f — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Heads up! Greek Yogurt is just regular yogurt with an irresistible cologne. — PolitiTweet.org
