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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I could adopt 6 teenagers and 3 rescue dogs, or I could put some of this Costco stuff back. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
That's not my carbon footprint, it's Jesus's. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
@Cornell_Library E.B. White was kind enough to respond to my letter. I have this letter framed in my home and I still read it often. https://t.co/ItZ7XIkVse — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A few weeks ago on my podcast, I mentioned a letter I wrote to E.B. White when I was in high school. The good people at E. B. White's archives in @Cornell_Library managed to track that letter down. https://t.co/bLivTJrEA2 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Finally went to Harry Potter World and the sorting hat put me in “Sunrise Assisted Living” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
To my credit, I’ve never gotten “buy a ukulele” drunk. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just got my all-time favorite Irish treat from @The_PaddyBox. https://t.co/DtJfvJdpge — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m looking forward to playing a game of half-court basketball with my new friend @HillaryClinton. https://t.co/pfOk23nSHZ #GutsyWomen https://t.co/kHfSQNt7oD — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If Tom Brady and I got married we could be The O'Bradys, which is absolutely a thing heterosexual men think about. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Rudy Giuliani’s resting face is “Oh no, did I just stitch up this patient with my car keys inside him???” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just "Okay Boomered" a police officer. Did not go well. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Your time to shine, yams. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There's a certain poetry in Thanksgiving, when even the most conservative of conservatives doesn't hesitate to fist a turkey. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’ve been dealing with this all my life. https://t.co/kstQT3ydHI — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
For Thanksgiving, we always have an adult table, a kiddie table, and a “Still talking about the last Phish concert” table. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The only reason I started this podcast was so I could speak to comedy heroes like @EricIdle. What a treat. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/Ook9kcf964 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I really messed up badly this year. I ordered our family's Thanksgiving dinner from a Mexican place called "Del Turko." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just had a “perfect phone call” with the guy from Direct TV. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Wait, you guys aren’t paying for Twitter? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
This is what the inside of my head sounds like. https://t.co/pMwNKSBitK — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Not loving our 24-second news cycle. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@Disturbed's cover of "The Sound of Silence" is the first clip to crack 100 million views on my YouTube channel. I always knew that heavy metal band covers of Simon & Garfunkel songs would be my legacy. https://t.co/Gw4bzAMCFV — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
One comma makes all the difference when telling someone, “Diet, Dr. Pepper” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I like two things: Presidential History and Monorails! This picture just gave me an orgasm. https://t.co/9b2OxAEB9u — PolitiTweet.org
Richard Nixon Foundation @nixonfoundation
In honor of Mickey and Minnie Mouse’s birthday today, a photo of the Nixon family helping to open the monorail at D… https://t.co/uLWXsHLeyN
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I first saw Ellen DeGeneres perform stand-up in 1987 and so I wanted to check in and see how the whole comedy thing worked out. Hear our conversation at https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/2okwWv2tBM — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dear @people magazine: I've noticed that your “Sexiest Man Alive” is always a man who is sexy. Why not switch it up? Thanks in advance, Conan O’Brien — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
In prison, Roger Stone will likely be subjected to a humiliating full top hat search. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I guess Roger Stone's back is the closest we'll get to sending a US president to prison. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dear White House Turkey: you’ll get a pardon if you have dirt on Joe Biden. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The Circle Of Life 2019 - Asking your kids for computer help so you can help your parents with theirs. — PolitiTweet.org
