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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm hearing conflicting stories in the news so just to clarify - does Putin have to vote in-person or can he still use a mail-in ballot? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
@FunnyBlackDude Please think of me if you ever make “Funny-ish” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Thanks to the heatwave, you can now get a picture on Hollywood Boulevard with “tank top Darth Vader” and “thong Elmo.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dear Fans: I promise never to use explosives or anything flammable when I reveal my gender to you. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I love my fans. They are creative, passionate, and made entirely of cardboard. https://t.co/5h8Fp6rPXQ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
"Keeping Up With the Kardashians” has been canceled, but luckily I can still keep up with all the action thanks to their column in “The Paris Review.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Okay, it's been over 135 years. I think we're ready for a second English Muffin brand. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Spoke to my friend and former writer @deoncole about his career trajectory, the power of laughter, and his Gucci luggage. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/vrEYW2kvA1 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If I were ever in a plane that was going down, I hope I would have the bravery to step up and say "Don't worry everyone, I'LL crash this plane." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The hardest part of returning to our old lives will be talking ourselves into wearing denim. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can't believe the pandemic was renewed for another season. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Bad news: the Libertarian convention has been canceled due to participants’ moms being unwilling to give them a ride. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just learned that for the last 5 years, what I thought was my “wife" was just a cardboard MLB cutout. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Thanks to @MichelleObama for having me on her podcast and letting me share my bizarre theories on marriage and children. Check it out @ https://t.co/Q0Tr4HD858. https://t.co/2mXvZr15Lg — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m really excited to be on @MichelleObama’s podcast tomorrow. Hear it exclusively on @Spotify @ https://t.co/Q0Tr4HD858 https://t.co/AWdEs8mWp8 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I didn’t have “restoring democracy” in my NBA playoff bracket. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I spoke to @JameelaJamil in person, but remained socially and emotionally distant. Hear our conversation @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/X6F6HCv45T — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Years from now, historians will look back on this period of American History and move to Canada. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You can make any sentence creepier by adding "consenting" to it. "Just two consenting adults, riding a tandem kayak." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You know who has a good publicist? Steel Cut Oats. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When this is all over, I'm going to miss wearing masks to Trader Joe's and speaking to everyone in a German accent. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Can we agree? Anyone who's ironed his clothes in the last 4 months is a psychopath. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I think I took the wrong pill from that Morpheus guy. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
It was a joy to talk to Michael Che about SNL, his approach to comedy, and that time I bought a t-shirt from him. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/toqEzpgkpm — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“Grandpa Conan, tell us again what ‘crowds’ were.” “Why the year was 2019. This was pre-Civil War 2. President TikTok hadn’t even been born yet...” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
How do I patent my weird fork that can slip under masks? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
IDEA: What if we just put Confederate General hats on all the mailboxes? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Who’s going to break it to the Red Sox that the season IS on? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What’s even crazier than these two speaking at the Republican convention is that their guns are introducing them. https://t.co/4KrPW3zso4 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
2019: Can't wait to watch Avengers: Endgame! 2020: Can't wait to watch the House Oversight Committee grill the Postmaster General! — PolitiTweet.org
