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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Happy Halloween — the second scariest day this week! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just realized that on Sunday, we get an extra hour of 2020. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I wrote a really funny tweet but UPS lost it. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I once threw a baseball 95 MPH that time I went sky diving. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“Wow, that’s a shit-ton of butter!” --Me, watching any cooking show ever — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If you want to feel completely powerless, scream "go away" at a drone while you're in your underwear. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I talk with Bruce @springsteen about everything and I am overjoyed. Listen for the moment when he blows me off and starts shopping online. https://t.co/oVFo7VxNEK https://t.co/MP6KDuChaI — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Not to brag, but in my 20's I was known for my ability to give women multiple fake orgasms. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tried to do a seance with my dead grandparents and it immediately devolved into a political argument. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm open to the possibility that there are Culkin siblings we don't even know about yet. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Shit, there's no iPhone footage of my selfless act. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
As a respected biohacker and AI pioneer, I was a natural fit to kick off @adobemax. https://t.co/Gq3jBj73UI — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just dropped off my ballot. Good luck, Kanye! https://t.co/M22wXy4DPt — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Sorry to Rashida Jones for the complete engineering meltdown on our end. Your pony is in the mail. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/NApqrfnWpR — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What they tell you - "You can't run away from your problems." What I have found - You can outrun 8% of them. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My father has always cast a long shadow in my life. Mostly because he’s thin and only comes out at sunset. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
@DanRather Props from the legendary @DanRather are as soothing as silk drawers on a Texas cattle drive. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can’t remember the last time I was this shocked by an NBC programming decision. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Listen up PA. Register to vote by 10/19 or I'll come to Erie and tell terrible jokes in person. https://t.co/zbQhrUOZkQ https://t.co/3KynWA5LGc — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If you like my conversation with @HillaryClinton, you’ll love our travelogue series "Biker Buddies" – coming soon to Quibi. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/F67YP2mh6I — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Michiganders: If you like democracy but you don't vote, you're not playing euchre with a full deck. Register by 10/19 @ https://t.co/zbQhrUOZkQ https://t.co/PWKGA6LTuJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Damn — @WillieNelson came on the podcast and he was absolutely fantastic. Even I will listen to this episode, and I don't like me. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/8qtQBAUhlU — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I love the fall: The crisp air, the colorful trees, the ever-present sense of looming annihilation. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
With so much chaos happening right now, I worry today many Americans have forgotten to celebrate Mario Lopez's birthday. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There's nothing like playing a COVID-safe version of "Mystery Train" with my friend @JimmyVMusic. Much thanks to the warriors of @TruetoneMusic! https://t.co/9L12k3FYaA — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
And here I was thinking President's mandatory game of Duck, duck, goose in the Oval Office couldn't get any more irresponsible. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
ATTN. People who live in Wisconsin: Not registering to vote would be like trading up in the first round of the NFL draft to take a QB who's still years away from being a viable starter. Register by 10/14 @ https://t.co/zbQhrUOZkQ https://t.co/6N1RpHkZrw — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Which doctor has to tell him he caught the virus from hugging a flag? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Looks like Mike Pence has locked up the white suburban mortician vote. — PolitiTweet.org
