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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
At this rate, John Wayne Gacy will be pardoned by January 3rd. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
For anyone feeling nostalgic for office holiday parties, Yankee Candle makes a great “Bottom-Shelf Bourbon and Hotboxed Lyft Car” scented candle. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'd love to see Blackbeard's face as he's told the term "pirate" will one day mainly refer to A-holes who steal parcels from our porches. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m puzzled why President Trump hasn’t called the new strain of Covid “The British Virus.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Chatted with the breathtakingly funny Amy Sedaris about playing mean and ugly, tricking children, and her wig collection. Listen now @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/ppjKliLTeZ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I hate Christmas shopping. I never know which vaccine to get my wife. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I wanted to start a celebrity feud after Dave Grohl and I put out versions of "Run Rudolph Run" at the same time, but then I saw his and I voided my bowels. I'm not good at celebrity feuds. https://t.co/qaqrdDqa3c https://t.co/4JsoSsQ6u1 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Still haven't worked up the nerve to tell my in-laws that I won't be traveling from my bedroom to my living room to talk to them on Zoom this Christmas. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Is anyone else still thinking of that 25 person orgy in Brussels? Oh good, me neither. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My New Year’s resolution for 2021 is “Spend less time with my family.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I might have to remind Pfizer I’ve been a preferred customer since 2002. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Kaley Cuoco was more excited to talk to @sonamov than to me. Hear the devastation in my voice @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/uv6xjgN0ww — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“Now is the time to act!” —Something my acting teacher never told me — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What’s sadder, the end of “Titanic” or my son’s face when I ask him to explain Bitcoin again? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
RT @TeamCoco: Your favorite #CluelessGamer dropped by #GGNT to review "Cyberpunk 2077." Watch Conan's review @ https://t.co/UCfiKhCcYd http… — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Every time the sun goes down at 4:30PM, I feel like it's mad at us. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I've wasted so much of my staff's time playing this song at rehearsal. Now I get to waste your time too. https://t.co/v8BVWeDSoV — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
In India, an elephant was rescued after falling into a well. Afterwards, the elephant said, “I wish I could forget the whole thing.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Thrilled to make @JohnCleese's lifelong dream of doing a podcast with Conan O'Brien come true. Listen @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/zqP6uKYgs3 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Could he receive the Never-Gave-Us-A-Moment’s-Peace Prize? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Let’s not forget all the good stuff that happened in 2020. You first. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Biden is looking for a new Attorney General. So, we may not be done with Giuliani after all. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When will my parents pardon me? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Walking outside wearing all this and a couple visiting from Moscow crossed the street and said, "Hi Conan!" HOW??? WHAT'S THE GIVEAWAY?? #ImpressedByRussians https://t.co/Jv79ARDt1E — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I got some members of The Basic Cable Band together to perform at #ProjectKidsCare. Check out our semi-magic and help some truly underserved kids. https://t.co/qaqrdD8zbE — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@KChenoweth is a kindred spirit, an incredible performer, and a ChapStick addict. Hear Kristin apply ChapStick and occasionally chat with me @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/Cw9HKZUwkZ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
It’s 11/29/20, or as I call it “Two primes and two dimes.” Sorry, but that’s been in my Drafts folder since 2012. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Does the 10 o’clock curfew mean I have to stay up ‘til 10? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
SPOILER ALERT in the new episode of The Mandalorian they reveal that Baby Yoda's real name is Bobby Yoda. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A safe way to recreate the Black Friday shopping experience is to roll yourself down a hill clutching a PS5. — PolitiTweet.org
