Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I can’t wait for everything and its bathroom to reopen. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Either I just had a nice conversation with my sister or the best damn robocalling algorithm ever. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The moon landing was real but all the astronauts orgasms on the moon were faked. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Hear @SethMeyers and I swap stories about Lorne Michaels, writing at SNL, and hosting Late Night @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/EbWia7PWQn — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

One thing I’m going to miss about the pandemic is that it finally felt normal to eat takeout in my car while crying. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Wow anyone else's leather chaps and harness feeling a little tighter these days? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Don't call it an Everything Bagel if it doesn't come with an autographed headshot of Kyle Chandler. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A meal service where instead of sending me ingredients, THEY make the meal and serve it to me at their place of business. And booze. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Cruise ships are coming back. Have we learned NOTHING as a society?? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Honored to be included in the #AmericanMastersPBS documentary about Flannery O’Connor's life and legacy. Tune in for the premiere on @PBS tonight @ 8/7c. https://t.co/9RDfPzefdf https://t.co/xdeid0rauK — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Kate Hudson is my neighbor, which means she's had the misfortune of seeing me in a very tight bike outfit. Hear her horrifying tale @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/2ubz1nz6zb — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Once again, I find myself largely unaffected by the NFL’s free agency period. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

You never hear about Trivia Mornings. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

RT @GoodGameNiceTry: "I don’t think there's any better use of your money." - @ConanOBrien on the Official Scent Of @GoodGameNiceTry: LAN Pa… — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I surprised a raccoon in my garage this morning, and now he's telling his friends he made a human run into a wall. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Instead of saying "The days are getting longer," I like to walk around with a candle and cry, "NIGHT!...she withers...." — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A lot of people complain about capitalism, but without capitalism, how could I have been threatened at knifepoint by a Times Square Elmo? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Within 10 minutes of our conversation, @SHAQ changed the title of my podcast and named @sonamov’s future children. Listen now @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/g2PiYEFUhm — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

President Biden just announced, by the end of 2022 every American adult who wants one will have access to a PlayStation 5. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

CVS should carry a vaccine that protects against long receipts! Am I right people? Hello? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Birds are in for a rude awakening in 4 months when we all stop filling our feeders. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I agree that grocery store workers should get vaccinated before talk show hosts (though there are currently 3,000 more talk show hosts). — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'm starting to worry the Tom Cruise that comes over and hangs out with me in the garage is a deepfake. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Me: Can you explain non-fungible tokens to me? Son: Dad, my bedtime is at 11:00. Me: It's 8 in the morning. Son: I know. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Happy #InternationalWomensDay to all of the incredible women of CONAN. #IWD2021 https://t.co/QJ5wprj6bF — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Reminisced with "Office Ladies" @jennafischer and @angelakinsey about that time I dropped from the Dunder Mifflin ceiling onto Dwight's desk. Listen now @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/rywx8d6tUt — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

When it comes to the Royal Family, I always root for the woman who married the ginger. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s been 8 months. Time to buy herbal tea again and remember I don’t like it. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It always bothered me that the band Earth, Wind and Fire never included the fourth element, Magnesium. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I hope CGI Luke Skywalker shows up at the end of my career. — PolitiTweet.org