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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You can tell I'm on vacation when my tweets are particularly lame. And how come the Hulk's shirt falls off, but never his pants? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’ve had a great year thanks to my family, my fans, and Four Loko’s Uva Berry. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My kids’ Christmas gifts are all broken already. That’s what I get for buying them Waterford crystal. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I love these post-Holiday bargains. Who knew I could get Megan Fox’s underwear for just 12 thousand dollars? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
WhassinthisBaileysIrishCream issodelisshiss — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I thought it would be funny to stuff my kids’ Christmas stockings with actual stockings. I’ve never heard crying like that. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm in Seattle, all Xmas decorations include Jimi Hendrix: http://bit.ly/fXhsRN — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Anyone know how to get eggnog out of a leopard-skin Speedo? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Had to stop by court today to tie up some loose ends. Hey, @SteveMartinToGo is here! And he's staring at my hair. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Had to stop by court today to tie up some loose ends. Hey, @SteveMartinToGo is here! And he's staring at my hair. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There's just minutes til I start livetweeting on @teamcoco. I'm wearing my tweet leisurewear: an orange fleece, no underwear, and jeggings. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
During the live-tweet, I'll tweet about tweeting this very tweet. My head hurts! #TEAMCOCOLIVE — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Girl, tonight I'm gonna wreck your tweet-box. See you tonight at twitter.com/@teamcoco #TEAMCOCOLIVE — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
R. Gervais asked me to tweet an article, and it got some people upset. I’m sorry - I thought Atheism was a branch of the 7th Day Adventists. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Ricky Gervais has asked me to tweet this essay on his Atheism. I pray to almighty Zeus nobody reads this trash: http://on.wsj.com/gFmcm0 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When they’re not fighting or racing light cycles, I’ll bet the citizens of TRON spend a lot of time on the phone with tech support. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I may be alone in this, but I believe one day DNA evidence will exonerate the Grinch. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I think tickets to “Conan” is a nice Christmas gift, I don’t know what my staff is complaining about. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The fear of getting stuck in a chimney is called santaclaustrophobia. I wrote that joke when I was eight, and it still holds up. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
So excited - today, WikiLeaks will reveal what channel TBS is on! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The latest Rock Band videogame might be too realistic. It’s just four smelly guys sleeping on a bus as they cross Ohio at night. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I didn't forget to tweet yesterday; I just never tweet on 12/11 in honor of the assassination of Byzantine Emperor Nikephoros II. Duh. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A new study claims that country boys have bigger penises than city boys. Okay, fine, but why is Obama talking about that on “Mythbusters”? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I am almost at 2 million Twitter followers! I am going to tell my grandkids about this - right after I explain to them what "Twitter" was. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dear Obnoxious Ass Who Cut Me Off On the Freeway Today And Nearly Killed Me: Please watch my new show. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, and when you’re dry and ready, I’ll have no idea what to do with you. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
As a lifelong Patriots fan, I hope they win, and as a compulsive gambler, I hope it’s by less than 3 1/2 points. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I love to tweet, but I worry sometimes that I’ll lose count of the words and the Twitter people will cut me off before I’ve had a chance to — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
This Hanukkah, people in Cleveland are spending 8 straight nights booing Lebron James. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just had my first post-Jeggings medical exam - according to the doctor, I’m now infertile. #jeggings — PolitiTweet.org
