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Showing page 17 of 180.
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The only thing grosser than a Human Centipede is a Centipede Human, which is hundreds of centipedes sewn together to look like a guy. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m a real work horse, meaning I constantly need someone to feed me a carrot while they stroke my hair. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The only way to get out of the Matrix is using a landline, so who’s the boomer now??? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My fan Kyle is a killer opera singer, but it’s only a matter of time before I ruin his career. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/3bXhPHTjAn — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When I wear a mask on a plane I get special treatment because everyone thinks I’m Jane Lynch. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Our only hope is that COVID gets tired of winning. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I was supposed to interview @KristenSchaaled in this episode, but she ended up interviewing me. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/rUJY3zqtXJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If you think Miss Frizzle didn't use that Magic School Bus to get real small and travel up people's buttholes, think again. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The “Nirvana Baby” lawsuit has inspired me to seek millions from my parents for this picture: https://t.co/aYtbkeAV8x — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Right now the only safe place to buy real estate is on that garbage island in the Pacific. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
This week, I learned that enjoying my comedy is a red flag in the dating world. https://t.co/pfOk23nSHZ https://t.co/VyWUIX64Ll — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m confused on where the “Theranos Trial” fits in the Marvel Universe. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
One of the coolest things about my new show being on HBO Max is that it'll probably be released in theaters and on TV the exact same day. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I demand a @CommunityTV movie, @JoelMcHale. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/H1HwAXMD9X — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Pick up something I just dropped, or step over it for three days first? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’ve been watching “F-boy Island” and I still can’t tell which one is the French Boy. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Great—my horse has worms and the pharmacy is out of everything except COVID vaccines. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I was horrified to learn that my podcast pairs well with performing an autopsy. https://t.co/pfOk23nSHZ https://t.co/WAN9BW659y — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I bet dogs assume every film is really artistic because they're in black and white. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I haven’t been this excited about a new Spiderman trailer since the last 47 Spiderman trailers. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Waiting for FDA approval before I take the Milk Crate Challenge. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Loved talking to Hannah Einbinder about the massive success of "Hacks," the perils of tinted sunscreen, and why she should invest her money in oceanfront real estate. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/VfZLhjg63y — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just booked a therapist appointment because I found out that baby carrots are just cut up regular carrots. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Is it spelled "thrupple" or "throuple?" Want to make sure I get it right on this list of things I'll never get to do. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Anyone bummed about Only Fans should check out the toe cleavage on my Wikifeet page. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
In this week’s fan interview, I learned that I look like a Therizinosaurus. https://t.co/pfOk23nSHZ https://t.co/cDNZXzBzDo — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If they don't call the "Cruella" sequel "Crueller," I'm not sure what we're all even doing here. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm bringing my desperate search for companionship to @Wiltern for our first ever LIVE "Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend." https://t.co/tv0NawKUgz — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Have an idea for a show: The Masked Singer except no masks, and it’s not celebrities, and they’re British and they bake stuff. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Check out the first episode of #BehindTheNonsense where I talk to @AndyRichter and @LeviMacdougall about a sketch that still makes me laugh. https://t.co/gpOobfuUeQ — PolitiTweet.org
