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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Yesterday, Muammar Gaddafi blamed bin Laden for the troubles in Libya, today, he's blaming Chuck Lorre. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Would you freak out if I told you I was tweeting this from inside your closet? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm having a fan contest to rewrite my Twitter bio. P.S. Use the word "lulz,” and your entry will be thrown out: http://bit.ly/gIMoww #COBio — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Only in L.A.... I just saw a sign that said, “Welcome to Los Angeles.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If my high school guidance counselor is reading this, I want to apologize for telling you that you’d never amount to anything. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just saw Gnomeo & Juliet. Probably should’ve taken the kids. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Borders books filed for bankruptcy. How do you sleep at night, Angry Birds? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Charlie Sheen said he’s never been drunk on the set of "Two & A Half Men." I, too, have never been drunk on the set of "Two & A Half Men." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I checked the couch cushions after Dr. Phil left. I found two quarters, a dime, and some dignity. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Whoa! I I think I finally just got INCEPTION. Now can someone please explain BRIDE WARS? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My daughter asked me not to come drunk to her school play. Too bad, I really wanted to see it. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Justin Bieber is on our Valentine’s Day show tonight! So legally, Andy has to sit 50 feet from the couch. #ConanOBieber — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Valentine’s Day always makes me think of 3rd grade, and my first real crush. Here’s to you, Vice President Spiro Agnew. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When I go out and I don’t want to be recognized, I pull my Dr. Seuss hat down over my eyes. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My weekend in Cairo is getting more exciting by the minute! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Man! @justinbieber is really showing up everywhere to promote his concert film. This morning, he made an appearance in a rerun of CHiPs. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When I really stop and think about it, I realize I've only enjoyed four sandwiches in my life. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just watched my show. Is it just me, or do I look like a women’s basketball coach? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Got invited to the Playboy Mansion for Valentine’s Day. It’s the Cincinnati branch, but still, pretty cool. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
This Super Bowl could end in sudden death; especially for that fat guy in the Packers hat eating bratwurst. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just invented the word “bro-ner.” Still working on the definition. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
For this Follow Friday, I want to recommend someone you don’t follow – that guy in the trenchcoat on the beach. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If I was a promotion whore, I'd tell you the new Conaco show "Eagleheart" premieres on Adult Swim tonight at 12. Instead, I'll say nothing. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If Costco is just a grocery store on steroids, then Wal-Mart is just a 7-Eleven with type 2 diabetes. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
People always recognize me, even when I wear sunglasses. Maybe it’s the “Talk to me, I’m Conan O’Brien” t-shirt. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm having a contest where you can win a romantic dinner on my show - if you think Andy watching you eat is "romantic": http://bit.ly/exeKmh — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You know that button in the elevator with a fireman’s hat on it? Turns out that’s NOT the button you push to order a fireman’s hat. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Is it wrong to scream “You got pwned” in your son’s face after beating him at Hungry Hungry Hippos? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
First there was Kermit, then Cookie Monster, and now Steven Tyler. Thanks, Jim Henson! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
L.A. is full of neurotic, egomaniacal attention whores. But there’s also bad people. — PolitiTweet.org
