Conan O'Brien

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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Charlie Sheen is doing a 21-city comedy tour. Being a mentally unstable out of work TV star on tour was my idea. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 24, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just got a new iPhone app that lets me shorten “app” to “ap.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 23, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Ah, Springtime in L.A.! It reminds me of Fall in L.A. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 22, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Sometimes I worry that we Americans have lost sight of the true meaning of Bampflugnax Day. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 21, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

According to a new study, drinking too much soda can reduce a man’s fertility. Guess I’d better stop drinking “Doc Brown’s Vasectomy Pop.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 20, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just did a 50,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, with the picture FACE DOWN! — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 20, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The Spider-Man musical is ineligible for next year’s Tonys, which is a shame – it was a shoo-in for “Best Shrieking Plummet From A Ceiling.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 18, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Check out “Eagleheart” tonight at Midnight & find out why it's called "the best show on Adult Swim that's exec produced by Conan O'Brien." — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 17, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Saint Patrick’s Day is named for Saint Patrick, the first guy to feed Guinness to a snake. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 17, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Happy birthday to LA Clippers’ Blake Griffin. And of course, to Thomas de Beauchamp, the 12th Earl of Warwick! — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 16, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Why did that soothsayer tell Caesar to “Beware the Ides of March” when he could've more helpfully said, “Beware the knives of stabbers”? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 15, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Already filled out my March Madness brackets. I picked “The King’s Speech” over UConn. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 14, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I forgot to set my clock forward and ended up sleeping right through my clock-setting class. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 14, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Backstage for my Facebook interview. I was told this was for MySpace. What's Facebook? http://bit.ly/h3quNn — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 13, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Subway has surpassed McDonald's to become the world’s largest restaurant chain. If you thought Jared was an unbearable prick before... — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 12, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Japan needs our help. Go here to donate to @redcross disaster relief: http://bit.ly/eZJDoJ — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 11, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Jon Cryer walked on my show tonight and made a shocking announcement. Take a look: http://bit.ly/hWgNT1 — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 11, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Wal-Mart has announced that it will begin selling the iPad 2 this spring. In packs of 1200. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 10, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Will Drudge Report and Huffington Post f*ck already and get it over with? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 9, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A new study shows that 72% of shopping carts contain traces of fecal matter. Oh my God, they’re on to me. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 9, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Good news, I treated myself today to the new iPad 1. Wait... what’s that? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 8, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It's official: @charliesheen is following me on Twitter, so I win. Charlie, I'm sending over a van to collect the goddesses. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 6, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If Charlie Sheen follows me, I win. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 5, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My staff tells me my new hat has made me mad with power. I disagree. http://bit.ly/eOdHm2 — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 5, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This week in New Orleans, a pastor was caught masturbating in public. Police are describing the incident as “Mardi Gras.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 4, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My wife just imposed a strict “no goddess” policy. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 3, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

How terrifying would it be to actually not know the difference between your ass and a hole in the ground? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 2, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I have a new Twitter bio, thanks to @likover - so the next time you need to sum up your entire soul in 160 characters, you know who to call. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted March 1, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Watching the Oscars. Not crazy about the womb Natalie Portman's baby chose to wear. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 28, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If I'm smiling today, it's because a Wisconsin Senator is hiding in my pants. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 26, 2011 Hibernated