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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just realized I was reading the Wikipedia page for Steve Urkel. Time to go outside! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just read in the NY Times that @RafinhaBastos is ahead of me on Twitter. I think my new Brazilian wax should even the score. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Getting a massage - how much does one tip for an “awkward ending”? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There are 81 restaurants in the world with three Michelin stars and none of them are @WhiteCastle. The system is broken. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Being pale in Southern California isn’t easy, which is why I appreciate the judgment-free environment at Turtleneck Beach. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Can’t believe it’s Shark Week again. It seems like just yesterday I was taking down last year’s Shark Week decorations. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can’t watch Jeopardy now that I know Alex Trebek sleeps in the nude. It’s the same reason I can’t watch those @BarbaraJWalters specials. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just in case, I start every phone conversation with, “You can hang up now, Rupert Murdoch.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Turns out, "Cowboys & Aliens" is NOT about Arizona’s immigration laws. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
McCain called the Tea Party “Hobbits” & the Tea Party called McCain a “troll.” I’m finally starting to understand this debt ceiling thing. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Is it possible to sue your comb? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Children grow up so fast. One day they’re taking their 1st steps, the next they’re taken away after a judge rules you’re a negligent parent. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hey, I’m tweeting from inside a car wash! I wonder if my phone will still work if I roll down the win — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Caught again, napping with my special pillow: http://t.co/THpl4DH — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If Voldemort is such a powerful wizard, why can’t he conjure up a new nose? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Had a great time @Comic_Con, but I'm kind of regretting this "Vampire Diaries" tattoo. #SDCC — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Currently walking around @Comic_Con. Good god, Batman has really let himself go. #SDCC — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Visiting The Flaming C Art Gallery @Comic_Con. It's just like the Louvre, only better: http://t.co/nXOxjTA #SDCC — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I have arrived @Comic_Con. The air is thick with the smell of Cheetos and celibacy. #SDCC — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Headed to @Comic_Con tomorrow - I might check out the Green Lantern panel. I’ll be the guy dressed as Conan. #SDCC — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Today my assistant is retaliating by doing an impression of MY father: http://t.co/ZxsHChL — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My assistant is furious because I'm pretending to be her father with my ingenious homemade costume: http://t.co/cPs0UFa — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You never know who you’ll run into at the Warner Bros commissary. I just saw the guy who plays that guy on that show. You know - that guy! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m in and out of my car a lot faster since I made Gary Busey the voice on my GPS system. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
They’ve closed a major freeway here in LA and are calling it “Carmageddon.” I would’ve called it “The Carshank Redemption." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m thinking of outsourcing a company in India to write my cultural stereotype jokes. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Thanks to everyone who made our multiple Emmy nominations possible. If this doesn't end the budget bickering in Washington, nothing will. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hey @CatDeeley, If this isn't sexual chemistry, I don't know what is. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dear @CatDeeley: Nice attempt to cover the fact you didn't know how to spell my name in your first tweet. We're through. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can’t believe the aerobic workout I get every day running from @CatDeeley’s bodyguards. — PolitiTweet.org
