Conan O'Brien

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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Ah, autumn in LA, when the stagehands spray the leaves such pretty colors. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Oct. 3, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I just told my kids that our dog died, when in reality he went off to live happily on a farm somewhere. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Oct. 2, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I look forward to having grandkids, so I can share my wisdom. Mostly wisdom about Angry Birds, Angry Birds Rio and Angry Birds Seasons. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Oct. 1, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

When I die, I just want my tombstone to read “George Clooney.” That ought to pull in some visitors. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 30, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I want to apologize to all the people of Tampa for my last tweet. I’m sure Tampa is a fine place to live, if you’re a mosquito. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 30, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Remember, Red Sox fans, they still have to live in Tampa. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 29, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The sonic clarity of this “cat falling in a toilet” video on YouTube is so much better with my new Bose headphones. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 29, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Join me in 20 mins as I liveblog the East Coast broadcast of my show. It's Old Media + New Media + Me Drinking: http://t.co/v4EYEq4v — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 29, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just got out of a parking ticket by confessing to a murder I didn’t commit. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 27, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This is the world’s first 3D Tweet! Unfortunately, the device needed to view it properly has yet to be invented. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 27, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Fans, you’ll be happy to know I’ve grown my beard back. You’ll be disappointed to know it’s on the back of my thighs. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 25, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

You know you’re getting older when you throw out your back while buttering scones. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 24, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The Latin Grammys were just announced. I can’t believe I was overlooked for my solo album, “El Hombre Muy Blanco.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 23, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Should I pay to get my typewriter fixed or just wait for the new iPhone? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 22, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This October's issue of “Playboy” will only cost customers 60 cents. So for the price of a cup of coffee, you could help feed a naked woman. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 21, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'll be in NYC from 10/31-11/3. Currently looking for a studio audience and a ride from the airport. http://t.co/YgxIR4xN #ConanNYC — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 20, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Sometimes I get my kids to stop misbehaving by telling them the Rick Perry under their beds will execute them. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 20, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’m going to streak the #Emmys today. Look for my red carpet on the red carpet. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 18, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

California may be releasing thousands of female inmates. Who will write me letters now? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 17, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A new book claims Sarah Palin had sex with NBA star Glen Rice. That’s where she got the phrase, “Drill, Baby, Drill.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 16, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just learned the hard way that “Cajun-style” is not a quality you want in a proctology exam. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 15, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Mapquest is such a dramatic name. “Tell me, O Map Quest, how I doth get to the doughnut shop near Reggie’s house?” #slownewsday — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 14, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s normal to have a breakfast chat alone in your office with the ghost of Nell Carter, right? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 13, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I think Newt Gingrich is the #1 candidate in the “Could be Related to Bilbo Baggins” category. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 12, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Where’s my Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor? I think people would love a bowl of “Ginger Coco Honkey Bites.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 10, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Quick, remind me: in which 80s movie did Mitt Romney and Rick Perry play the school principal and the community business leader? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 9, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Jon Huntsman was the brightest, most articulate Republican out there last night. Better luck in '16, @JonHuntsman. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 8, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Freud said "Love & work are the cornerstones of our humanness." I say it's love and that show "Pawn Stars". — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 8, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

One of my writers brought this candy back from Spain. Seriously, what is Europe's deal? http://t.co/ZGzmHAy — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 6, 2011 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Today might be Labor Day, but I'll always remember it as the day when Tsar Peter I of Russia imposed a tax on beards. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Sept. 5, 2011 Hibernated