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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just heard the sound of tinkling bells and hooves on my roof, which can only mean one thing: I’m having a stroke. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Walking in Seattle on Christmas eve and saw this. Glad to see the story of Christ's birth is being told: http://t.co/Auraa7Ve — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The Santa at the Beverly Hills mall had a tummy tuck. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Flying home for the holidays. I think Santa just got sucked into one of our engines. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I wish the phrase “I had my tree flocked” was as dirty as it sounds. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Last night, my kids saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. That’s the last time we go to that mall. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Instead of giving my staff a holiday bonus, I blew all the money on tiny pigs and tiny furniture. Enjoy: http://t.co/8AUi43Ez #LiveCocoCam — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tis the season where we get to use the word “tis.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
All done with my Christmas shopping. Thanks, Shell Gas gift cards! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Are you really supposed to tip your mailman’s mailman for Christmas or am I being conned? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
One of the nation’s defense agencies has a new app out for tracking Santa Claus. So it sounds like we’re finally going to capture the SOB. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
They discovered bed bugs can procreate with their siblings. This is not the image boost bed bugs needed. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Good news for Trump: Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth have agreed to let him moderate their debate. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Using cutting edge 2007 video technology, we've created "The Conan One Hour Earlier Best Of Spectacular" tonight at 10pm on TBS. Enjoy. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Sinead O'Connor got married for the fourth time! In her vows, she said, “Only three other guys have compared 2 U.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Checked into my D.C. hotel and found this Washington Monument cookie. At least I hope to God that's what it is: http://t.co/sa90AT5i — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Visited the @ChildrensHealth medical center today with @JustinBieber, @SelenaGomez, & @VictoriaJustice. I was the only one who sang. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I took my kids to see the guy in the red suit today. That’s right, the Spider-Man on Hollywood Boulevard. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just found out the Gregorian calendar is not based on Greg Brady. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’ve never gotten into a bar fight, unless you count the time I argued with that bartender who claimed to be out of drink umbrellas. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Should I be concerned that my office at "Conan" is getting smaller? http://t.co/s3tuv4Lk — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Had a great celebrity sighting today: the @DalaiLama at Chipotle. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
For the second time in under a week, an iPhone has exploded. Now I want the one that explodes. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
First my kids stopped believing in Santa. Then they stopped believing in Herman Cain. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I received 14 more Grammy nominations this year! (I call grey hairs “Grammy nominations”) — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Kobe Bryant has a lot of work to do to get ready for the season. We just played one-on-one, and he only beat me 200-4. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hey, @NickKroll told a delightfully horrifying story on my show tonight. Check it out. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When will someone build a piano that isn’t inherently racist? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
On my way to work, this sign inspired me to anonymously do good. And then tweet about it to 4.4 million people. http://t.co/ErROsQ3D — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I think Regis has too much time on his hands. I just found him weeding my garden. — PolitiTweet.org
