Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This baseball season has an upside: my son gets to see the Red Sox I grew up with! — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I went to see “The Avengers” today and it was sold out. I looked like an idiot dressed like the Hulk during a showing of “Think Like a Man.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Tonight on #Conan, @MettaWorldPeace and I have a civilized interview. And then one of us smashes Andy in the face. http://t.co/BoGeW5gh — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Hey, say what you will about Donald Trump. Seriously, go ahead. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Ever get really into playing a video game, only to discover it was just one of those high-tech Japanese toilets? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Easy mistake: instead of renting MONEYBALL I accidentally rented a porn film called MILF WRANGLERS 6, VOLUME 2. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

What will history remember more? Muhammad Ali vs Joe Frazier, or Gavin DeGraw vs Jaleel White? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Question for the ladies: Late-onset back hair… as sexy as I hope? #FingersCrossed — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

People always ask me: “WHY?! OH GOD WHY?!!?” Mostly at the beach. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This is my actual PIN number: http://t.co/L0WL3tLD — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Fool me once, shame on my personal fool-stopper, Reginald. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My poker tell is a 3-state murder spree. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Siri, what is the location of “my misspent youth?” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Tonight on #Conan, Jack Black and I fight to the death. Or chat about his latest project. Check It out: http://t.co/JAl0raZ9 — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I looked in the bathroom mirror this morning and saw my Dad looking back at me. We should stop taking baths together. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Take a moment to thank the veterans of our many Storage Wars. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I sure hope TMZ doesn’t put up that footage of Angela Lansbury kicking my ass in a road rage incident. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Why are people so impressed by wine cellars but so saddened by my Jagermeister crawlspace? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just heard the craziest recording of Mel Gibson speaking in calm and measured tones. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

30% of all web traffic is porn. That number climbs up to 70% if you count those of us who masturbate to LOL Cats. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I saw Rick Santorum on the news today. He was making sure a pregnant pause reached full term. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I play a pivotal role in the new #Halo4. I'm trusting all of you not to harm my defenseless character. #NaiveBoob http://t.co/SuEIIOXE — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Tonight on #Conan, @Andy_Richter and I debut our pivotal characters in the new #Halo4. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Looks like I’m getting back one chicken leg and 4 golden Sacagawea coins. I probably shouldn’t do my own taxes. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My wife won’t see the new Three Stooges movie with me. She’s still mad they didn’t go with Shemp. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The North Korean missile test has failed. Video here: http://t.co/HcVVmgiB — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Tax question: Is it technically considered cheating if you claim your 5.4 million Twitter followers as dependents? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The 2nd season premiere of Eagleheart airs tonight at Midnight on @AdultSwim. I'd watch, but I have no other plans. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Actually both. That IS a tube of Chapstick in my pocket AND I'm glad to see you. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

There are two kinds of Mexican restaurants. Those that serve fresh authentic cuisine, and ones that serve the cheap, greasy junk I love. — PolitiTweet.org