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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Can’t decide whether to join Chris Brown and Drake’s entourage. Which one offers dental? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Jenny McCarthy is on her 7th nude spread. Wow, I’ve only done 5. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Justin Bieber’s new album is not selling as well as expected. Think how bad it would be doing if I hadn’t bought 50,000 copies. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hey, is it too late to stake me in the World Series of Poker? It’s $10,000, and I’ll lose, but I’ll wear a windbreaker with your name on it. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just blew my chance to be on the cover of “Cigar Aficionado” with an uncontrollable coughing fit. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m going to try one of those Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos, just as soon as I’ve finished recording my living will. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Katy Perry’s starting her own record label. It will be the first one that releases both CDs and C-DDs. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@MittRomney’s trying so hard to connect with the Latino community, today he had himself deported. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Family back east dealing with heat wave the old-fashioned way: resenting it until it goes away. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Good Humor has announced a shortage of Chocolate Eclairs and King Cones. I blame Obama. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My wife can always tell I'm lying because I break down in tears and scream, "I'm lying!" — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Apparently @Zyunga is bringing their hit app "Draw Something" to TV. I hope this won't affect my forthcoming show, "Instagram Nights". — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@MittRomney - Had your sons on #Conan tonight. After they left, I found $20,000 in the couch cushions. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A friend in New York saw this in a Chinatown restaurant. http://t.co/9AgngzOJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The @RedSox are in last place. The @Nationals are in first. I'm ready for you, locusts. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Every little child loves to cuddle up with Bane, the psychotic, venom fueled nemesis of Batman. http://t.co/7aFoqpeG — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just saw Luke Skywalker take Darth Vader to The Sizzler for Father's Day. They seemed tense. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just got back from Chicago. My colon gets back next Wednesday. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm at the Cubs/Red Sox game at Wrigley. Boston is losing, so I've gone into the Witness Protection Program. http://t.co/v12LJZW6 #CHICOCO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Adam Sandler (@HappyMadison) and I have a good cry before tonight's show. Tears make us strong: http://t.co/lw8yJqJ0 #CHICOCO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Blogger @dwstepanic claims the skyline in my #Chicoco ads is all wrong. I don't see the problem. http://t.co/kExXCeki — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Big Bang's Johnny Galecki and I point out our favorite piece of KD Lang Chicago Theater graffiti: http://t.co/KFuiFPtT #CHICOCO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Chicago: My work here is done. http://t.co/LeBN8WtF #CHICOCO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Andy Samberg (@thelonelyisland) is on my show tonight. Hopefully this photo captures our sexual tension. #CHICOCO http://t.co/F3nIbQCD — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Saw this in a Walgreens near the Chicago Theatre. It's a perfect depiction of me after 6 bottles of Jameson. http://t.co/sp6FuCCy #CHICOCO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Jack McBrayer's on my first Chicago show. This is right after I showed him what indoor plumbing looks like: http://t.co/1ubKdl91 #CHICOCO — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Took a photo with @Instagram's "Egomaniac" filter: http://t.co/q2isISPm — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I've arrived at the historic Chicago Theater for a week of shows, and brought along my American Girl Doll collection: http://t.co/XeSPuPfZ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
How many baby carrots offset five adult cupcakes? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The New Yorker sent out Jennifer Egan’s new story 1 Tweet at a time. Similarly, all my Tweets comprise a complex nacho recipe/suicide note. — PolitiTweet.org
