Conan O'Brien

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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The Olympics are being streamed online, so last night at 3 a.m. I tried to convince my wife I was on the computer watching archery. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 29, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I predict 350 lb. weight lifter Holley Mangold will bring home the gold and 4 guys against their will. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 28, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The opening ceremonies have won me over. Any show that combines pyrotechnics, top hats, The Beatles and sheep is okay in my book. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 28, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Watching London’s opening ceremonies. Hard to believe my ancestors were conquered by theirs. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 28, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Mitt Romney is at the Olympics. Mitt said he loves watching people from other countries work for no money. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 27, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s hard to believe that the greatest division in American politics these days is “pro-“ or “anti-Chick-fil-A.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 27, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s reported that Kim Jong-un got married. He’s registered at the local, “Bed, Bath and Other Things They Don’t Have in North Korea.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 26, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Reportedly, there are many trucking jobs that no one wants. Trucking Industry: make trucking more like the battle at the end of Mad Max II. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 25, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Bad morning - my juicer broke when it couldn't handle 6 frozen meatballs. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 23, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Met this celeb at a Malibu taco joint and am now part of his bro posse. Guess who spends more time at the beach? http://bit.ly/M4T8xG — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 22, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Athletes at the Olympics are being issued 15 condoms each. Or as the men’s table tennis players put it, “14 condoms too many." — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 21, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'd like to say I'm wearing this mesh tank top because of the heat, but I also wear it every Thanksgiving and Xmas. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 20, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My biggest problem with these bath salt cannibal attacks is believing Americans would willingly eat lean meat. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 19, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

#BreakingBad star Bryan Cranston is unimpressed with my meth making ability: http://t.co/gq0SEXsW — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 19, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Look for me on next week’s episode of Breaking Bad. I play a beaker of thorium oxide. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 18, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I suspected the U.S. Olympics team uniforms were made in China when I noticed the pants didn’t have a cup holder. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 17, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s so dangerous to hitchhike. Just ask the guy I buried in the desert. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 16, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

There's nothing like a summer picnic with friends, family and cue cards. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 15, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It's quiet today in LA. Reminds me of the day the Kings won the Stanley Cup. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 14, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Some Conan trivia: How many dozens of Arby¹s have I been kicked out of? — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 13, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My wife is so cute, always clearing her browser history and throwing the computer out a window when I walk in the room. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 12, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

We can all help cure our dependence on foreign oil by becoming depressed and sleeping most of the day. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 11, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Money doesn’t grow on trees. Your move, multinational agricultural biotechnology corporations. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 10, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

What do you do when you don’t have anything to Tweet? Why not link to Luis Guzman’s IMDB page? http://t.co/TGYNhAXk — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 9, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just got some dirty looks wearing a Hawaiian shirt in a Tahitian-themed restaurant. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 8, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

This guy’s at my door. Should I open it? Hate to judge people. http://t.co/fQQLnNMY — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 7, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Lots of people buy “2000 Flushes”, but I’m probably the only one who counts every one of them. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 6, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just ate at Poquito Mas. Not one person there was poquito. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 5, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called “50 Shades of Just O.K.” — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 4, 2012 Hibernated

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The rumor is Mitt Romney is getting overconfident. At least, that was the talk today at the Romney Presidential Library. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted July 3, 2012 Hibernated