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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tonight, I propose a 28th amendment: "No reality star shall question a sitting president unless they were the last one on the island." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Today’s the 20th anniversary of me finding out that “Bad Lieutenant” is not a good date movie. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I hear that in order to expand “The Hobbit” into a trilogy, they incorporated some of my pornographic Gandalf fan fiction. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My wife just found my creepy shrine to CNN's @ErinBurnett: http://t.co/bSqXhlJV — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The emoticon just turned 30. I wish there were some way to express how little I care about this news. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Mitt Romney said his campaign is "about the 100 percent." Then Romney said, "The 100% of the 53% who don't like the 47%." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Great, I’m stuck behind the Space Shuttle on the 405. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My dentist just told me I have a week to live. http://t.co/RhWL6ba8 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Now that all the publicity has died down, you can really find some great deals on Bath Salts. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Lamborghini has announced a major recall of their cars. So, if you have a Lamborghini, please return it to your local rerun of Miami Vice. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Congrats to my team of lonely super nerds for their Creative Arts #Emmy win! Download our @TeamCoco sync app here: http://t.co/Dcexxy9Y — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Bold move by the NFL starting their season without their normal referees and going with guys from Foot Locker. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Good news - all next week, I am a guest on your podcast. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hooters restaurants have a new campaign aimed at attracting female customers. So far all they’ve come up with is “Lesbian Thursdays.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Quick question: does anyone know if the “five second rule” also applies to liquids? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Can't get enough presidential history? Then watch me converse with Edmund Morris for 40 minutes in the dark: http://t.co/vZmzRkMV — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Anyone who says you can’t judge a book by its cover hasn’t seen the cover of “The Big Book of Huge Breasts”. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can't decide whether this massive bruise on my hip is turning into a tropical storm or a young Billy Gibbons: http://t.co/9OZYJFeJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Ben & Jerry’s is suing a porn company. I hate it when my two favorite things to binge on aren’t getting along. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Only the 2nd known photo of Emily Dickinson has been published. US Weekly’s “Stars Without Makeup” just keeps getting better. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The gift bags from the MTV Video Music Awards included condoms and Hot Pockets. Let’s hope nobody confused the two. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I gave @RobDelaney the keys to our @TeamCoco account. Yes, our account is unlocked with 19th Century jailer's keys. http://t.co/EefN9lvW — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My brother Luke took this photo of a double rainbow. It's proof that God has his priorities straight. http://t.co/1cm7nKHd — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The Democrats are in Charlotte. Wouldn’t you know it, Bill Clinton showed up in the wrong Charlotte. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can’t wait for my kids to open their Labor Day presents. I gave them each an extra sick day for the upcoming fiscal quarter. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Am I the only one who cries during “Alien Vs. Predator”? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Overheard some conservative Latino kids in a pool playing “Marco Rubio.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I know what it was like for Clint Eastwood. In my career, I’ve talked to more than a few “empty chairs.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Here’s a little known fact: the murder capital of the U.S. is East Murderton, Wisconsin. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If anyone wins the lottery Friday with 4, 11, 19, 24, 36 and 48, you owe me big time. — PolitiTweet.org
