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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
41% of adults are not working. And 11% of them are at this Best Buy right now, playing Madden '13. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The creator of “Dilbert” has announced his support for Mitt Romney. Come on, get off the fence, “Marmaduke” guy! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Help Night Of #TooManyStars and guarantee I do my show in a fake tan & cornrows - donate $10 by texting CONAN to 50555. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If enough of you donate to Night Of #TooManyStars, I’ll do my show with a fake tan and real cornrows. Donate: http://t.co/AzrtvuB2 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If Night Of #TooManyStars raises enough cash, I'll do my show in a spray tan. That's a promise AND a threat. Donate: http://t.co/AzrtvuB2 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The History Channel used to be cool, but they're just stuck in the past. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Every generation wants their children to be featured in a slightly less unflattering reality show than they were. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I saw the time travel movie Looper. I saw it twice, the day it came out and when they rereleased it in 2044. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Mitt Romney once invested in the Yankees. Which finally explains the time the Yankees tried to trade Alex Rodriguez to China. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Leaving Dublin and this fellow is at the airport to see me off. Yes, he's a potato. http://t.co/pgTzugrW — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm furious. I went into this store in Dublin and it was NOT what I expected: http://t.co/MUzjjoOJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just took this photo. I'm in a pre-school in Dublin. http://t.co/zwPBanG8 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Hurrah! I am back in Ireland, 150 years after the British made me leave for doing a crappy talk show in the village. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@WilliamShatner accused me of stealing the line "Hey Gang." Set phasers to "slander". — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just saw authentic period production of "Twelfth Night." Felt like it was 1620, until I tweeted on my iPhone. http://t.co/JotKVVDS #London — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Brits use peculiar phrases. For example, instead of “Oh My God can I have your autograph???,” they say “out of my way, you ass.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“Big Ben” reminds me a lot of “Little Conan.” That's right, my "Little Conan" has a clock face. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Still in London. Who is “Guvner” and why is everyone saying “ello” to him? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Could someone in England explain this newspaper cartoon? http://t.co/A2dXsdf8 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m in London right now. You won’t believe this, but there’s still a few minutes left in the Olympic closing ceremonies. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
It’s Jersey Shore’s final season, so they still have some time left to crack Fermat's Last Theorem. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A study says the candidate who blinks the most in a debate almost always loses the election. #WhyGilbertGottfriedCantBePresident. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just noticed that Jim Lehrer has no whites in his eyes. #Discuss — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Romney prepped for tonight’s debate by debating with a man whose views differ radically from his own: himself from 8 years ago. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If Ben & Jerry’s had been Jerry & Ben’s, I’m 100% certain that no one would buy their ice cream. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I consider myself a 1-percenter since I’m in the 1 percent of people who saw both “Deuce Bigelow” movies. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
“Goodness gracious, that is painful!” is what I should have yelled when I stubbed my toe in front of my kids. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I miss “this just in,” on the news. Nowadays, everything’s already in. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Starting a 3-day juice cleanse by dunking my cheeseburger in juice. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I am sad to report that @Andy_Richter has…oops, false alarm, he’s up. Guess that was just a really long nap near a bloodstain. — PolitiTweet.org
