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Showing page 144 of 180.
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What’s the point of having 7m followers if I can’t announce that I’m selling a futon, in fair condition. $100 or BO. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Only 7 more shopping days until I give my family cash for Christmas. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
According to YouTube, getting drunk is a requirement to drive a pallet loader in a foreign warehouse. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Me loudly singing “Oklahoma!” is just as accurate as a Breathalyzer. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just noticed that “egg nog” spelled backwards is “gon gge”. That’s right, I’m holding a mirror and drunk. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
By the way, I'm the one on the right. RT @Psy_Oppa "with @ConanOBrien...nice guy and tall. lol http://t.co/jgdb6fas" — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can't think of a better last-minute holiday gift than the #Rublight. http://t.co/yUoLBCmf — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Nothing says, “I don’t know how to play this video game” like shooting the same oil barrel for 40 minutes. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just in case you thought I couldn't ruin #Hanukkah, here's what happened on last night's #CONAN: http://t.co/x5WgO627 #Sorry — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tonight on #Conan, Jack White performs "I'm Shakin'" for the very first time anywhere. Spoiler alert: It doesn't suck. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
We’ve come so far: just saw two snowmen getting married. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My favorite thing about "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" is that the title is not so much a description as a Mafia-style threat. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Want to know the future? Read my stunning predictions in @VanityFair: http://t.co/6U3lAnr9 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
In order to justify eating veal, I just pretend the calf was funnier than me. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Wow. Was just sent the iPhone 7. The seats are very comfortable. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm asking my fans to #OccupyConan and help recreate an episode of my show. Oh, plus you can win a car. Details: http://t.co/RwfzROc3 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The autocorrect on my phone just changed "Christmas" to "Pagan Winter Festival." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just found out the original name of the Notre Dame "Fighting Irish" was the "Brawling Depressives". — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Decided that the one phrase I do not want in my obituary is, "died before his Botox doctor could revive him." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What do I do? Just got a phone call asking me to QB the Jets this weekend. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
So excited to have one of my heroes, Dick Van Dyke on “Conan” tonight, even though it was egotistical to put his own name in his show title. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Congrats to Ohio's Al Ryznar on his big Powerball win tonight! Al, it doesn't matter if you bought a ticket: This tweet is legally binding. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My kids are in that really cute pre-medicated phase. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Is it weird that all my “Sons of Anarchy” fan fiction ends with everyone getting along really well? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just did 200 crunches. Nestle's Crunches. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just once, I’d like to see an old Chevy pick-up truck with the vanity plate “LUV2CUDDLE.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My kids no longer believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or mortgage backed securities. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
For the next two weeks, America’s urine will be pumpkin spice-scented. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When I trace a turkey, it comes out looking exactly like my hand! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Watch @JuddApatow & me spend 69 minutes nerding out about comedy & his new movie #ThisIs40. http://t.co/7F0dQAUr — PolitiTweet.org
