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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson & I chat live at 2pm EST about their movie #TheInternship and my movie #GingerSadness: http://t.co/h5jsMGMG — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just found out that my jazz fusion quartet, Celestial Seasonings, is getting sued by some friggin’ tea company. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Still can’t get a publisher for my new novel, “Unpublishable”. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just did a cameo in the porn movie “Flesh Police” as Jimmy, the castrated desk clerk. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Even with my hat pulled down and sunglasses on, people recognize me by my name tag. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
At MusiCares honoring Bruce Springsteen and ran into an old friend. http://t.co/LGEOnkAY — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
It’s fun going through the Bible and highlighting all the “begats”. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I played #Halo4 & fell for a sexy blue digital construct, Cortana. Tonight I'm taking her to see "Movie 43": http://t.co/cHYofmVu — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My kids have that Asian flu where their throats hurt and their math scores are up. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Let me get this straight - we can put a man on the moon but we can’t replace the sound of my toilet flushing with a rimshot? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I don’t mean to name-drop, but I was just ignored by Kato Kaelin. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My Super Bowl rule: never bet on a team named after an Edgar Allan Poe poem. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Told my son there are 8 sides on a stop sign. He said “and an MMA fighting cage.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Our #OccupyConan ep is now online - just in case you didn't sync up "Dark Side Of The Moon" correctly the 1st time: http://t.co/RwfzROc3 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tonight is our completely surreal, all fan recreated #OccupyConan episode. Thanks to everyone for making something so weird and wonderful. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You’d better get a piano crate if you want to bury me with all the airline earphones I’ve accumulated. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I keep offering my brain to science, and science keeps saying, "No, we're good." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My apologies to the nice people at the Lady Foot Locker in Sherman Oaks. That’s all I can legally say for now. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My relationship with Katherine Webb is now serious. #suckitBrentMusburger http://t.co/FT1HhB9m — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Historical fact: the term "baker's dozen" comes from 1692 Salem, where townsfolk unfamiliar with yeast burned 13 bakers at the stake. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My insistence on cuddling afterwards has taken all the fun out of masturbation. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I've decided to renew my wedding vows wearing the bear costume from Workaholics: http://t.co/o44WOpoJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My son just built a Death Star out of LEGOs, which is scary since the LEGO kit was for a barn. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just saw @JustinBieber's butt on Instagram. I can't believe we have the same tattoo. http://t.co/BCBXjzVK — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Looks like the cold snap in L.A. has finally ended. SEEYA LATER, LIGHTWEIGHT WINDBREAKER! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The only way this Manti Te'o story could get any weirder is if it turns out HE'S not real either. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can't believe that I got the scoop on @KimKardashian & @KanyeWest's baby before @TMZ did: http://t.co/a7efjaeb — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My wife and I each have a celebrity we're allowed to sleep with, no strings attached. Hers is Ryan Gosling. Mine is also Ryan Gosling. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Who knew it was considered “harassment” to ask female interns if my Speedo’s too tight? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When I die, I want to become a blue hologram who follows Jedis around, making fun of their hairstyles. — PolitiTweet.org
