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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@RebelWilson's new show #SuperFunNight starts tonight. It's like #BreakingBad, but without all the meth and killing and starring 3 girls. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Halloween is just a month away, and I still haven’t picked out my excuse for not dressing up. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Obamacare begins tomorrow, and you know what that means! Wait, actually, no, you probably don't know what that means. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Anyone else thought of chaining Vince Gilligan in a barn to make him come up with another show? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A Vatican Cardinal is claiming Jesus was the first Tweeter. Also, the Shroud of Turin was the first “selfie.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Why can’t they make meth with fluoride? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I just used the phrase “throw shade,” so that’s over. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Still early in the season, but I’m pretty sure my fantasy football team is headed to the Lingerie Bowl. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The guys from It's @AlwaysSunny are on #CONAN tonight, and I finally learn what it's like to change another man's tighty whities. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Can't believe Bryan Cranston's fans send him erotic mail. My fans send me expired sunblock. http://t.co/5uQtn4O41v — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The cast of @BreakingBad_AMC is on tonight. I haven't been this excited since I reunited the original cast of "Suite Life of Zack & Cody". — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I have the entire cast of @BreakingBad_AMC on #CONAN tonight. Many secrets will be revealed. Miss it and you're a fool. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A guy backstage at the #Emmys just told me where they get the gold statues. Fracking. The soil of Western PA is lousy with 'em. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
iOS7? More like iOSHeaven. #ApplePleaseSendMeAniPad — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Last night I played #GTAV and showed the world what a badass I really am. Now I can't get car insurance. http://t.co/RV8E00HErJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Did an entire show with @LouisCK tonight. It was really special. #GenuinelyNiceTweet — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The new Grand Theft Auto has already made 800 million dollars? Starting tomorrow, I start murdering my guests. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Getting so tired of strangers on the street hugging me and calling me Arsenio. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Here in L.A., it’s hotter than something that’s extremely warm. #TooHotForAnalogies — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m torn because I love the new iPhone5S’s fingerprint scanner, but I also want to get away with some murders. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, the day when Jews around the world ask for forgiveness for Anthony Weiner. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
20 years ago today I made my TV debut. I offered the tapes to The Smithsonian, and they said to leave them out by the recycling bins. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What do you tip a masseuse who constantly mutters, “I always get the bony ones”? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just found out Spain has its own version of SNL. It’s just 90 minutes of ham tastings. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I love when my kids bring me breakfast in bed while dressed as the little girls in “The Shining”. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Trust me, when I say, “Jump!”, my employees say, “That’s a good Van Halen song.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Scientists have discovered a new shark species that can walk. It was immediately hired by CAA. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The new “Madden NFL 25” lets you control a player's career over several seasons. I got it just so I could keep repeatedly firing Tim Tebow. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@OperaMemphis wants @CarlReiner to perform Die Fledermaus after performing on my show. Internet, Let's do this! http://t.co/l2NSyOeOrv — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Watched the Bronco game last night. Nice to finally see NFL guys wearing orange that aren’t jumpsuits. — PolitiTweet.org
