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Showing page 130 of 180.
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I wish a wall mount was as dirty as it sounds. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I hate the Paparazzi, always photographing me when I’m with my family or searching through Nick Jonas’ trash. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just saw Her. (Not the movie, the capitalized object pronoun.) — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just read part of an incredible synopsis of an article about Attention Deficit something or other. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Someone captured the moment when I pitched Wayne Gretzky my new nickname: "The Other Great One": http://t.co/JgrX7qzdN5 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The Toronto City Counselor says that Mayor Rob Ford is unable to change. I imagine he means out of that suit. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just snaked my bathroom drain and pulled out an Ewok. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When someone calls me pretentious, the white gloves come off. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
That last episode of “Sex Sent Me to the E.R.” got the color wrong on my Speedo. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Did you know the Broncos have an entire coaching unit solely dedicated to containing Tom Brady’s handsomeness? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When the phone rings at Meryl Streep’s house, do you think she says, “Don’t answer it, it’s just another one of those Oscar nominations”? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You asked for it, here it is: Outtakes of @KevinHart4real, @IceCube, and me trying to score weed: http://t.co/wj6GQSTZlw — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Nigeria’s leader has banned same sex marriage. I’m not sending their prince any more money. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Very excited @WBHomeEnt is releasing the Batman '66 Complete TV Series in 2014! The seat smells like Adam West: http://t.co/cqWjlpW1Gn — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
A kid in New Jersey is falsely claiming to be my illegitimate son. For the record, I have three children: Neve, Beckett, and @RonanFarrow. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Last night, I was reading “Bridge to Terabithia” to my kids when Chris Christie showed up and shut it down. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Dreamt that I bought some new boots and a sturdy umbrella for the Morton Salt girl. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Don’t hate the playa, unless he’s playing lacrosse. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Fox News is starting a channel for children. It’s going to call President Obama a “Socialist Kenyan Muslim With Cooties.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Kim Jong Un & Nicolas Cage have birthdays this week. So happy birthday to a madman unleashing terrible things on the world, and Kim Jong Un. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If Chris Christie had blocked people from entering New Jersey he’d be a hero. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When I’m in Colorado, ladies, it’s not just Mountain Time, it’s mountin’ time. My God, how do I delete this tweet? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Nothing attracts paparazzi like filling your grocery cart with Oat Bran and Charmin. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Writing a cookbook for sharks was a waste of my time. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Anyone else lie awake at night wondering how to steal Jason Bateman's likability? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
FUN FACT: Each new member of One Direction is grown humanely at Direction Labs facilities, using only the finest polymer-based additives. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’ve already broken my New Year’s Resolution to not camp out on Jennifer Lawrence’s driveway. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
One sign the economy’s picking up: It’s reportedly just recently gotten “less hard out there for a pimp.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
January is named for actor Jan-Michael Vincent, who was famous for exactly 31 days one winter. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
New Year’s Eve is just a made up holiday created by the taxi industry to get more vomit in cars. — PolitiTweet.org
