Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My cousin asked me to Tweet about his Hootie and the Blowfish tribute band. Blowie and the Hootfish. I said no, of course. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

For Mother’s Day I’m giving my wife the one thing she wants from me: space. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Several of the women on my staff call me "Creeper." This is a Minecraft thing, right? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Most people don’t know that the “S” in Harry S. Truman stood for “Sharktopus.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Happy Teacher Apprecciatiuon Week. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Performed tonight for President @BarackObama on behalf of an amazing organization: http://t.co/IkugWVHVxI — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I generally don’t condone grave robbing, but sometimes a guy just needs a new pair of shoes. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Happy Cinco de Mayo! If your Mariachi band didn’t book a gig today, you may want to explore new management. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody! I know it’s a day early, but typing requires fine motor skills I won’t have tomorrow. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I was just informed that I no longer need to yell "SPOILER ALERT" when describing old "Columbo" episodes. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring small pox. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Rob Ford has to stop hanging around crack-activated cameras. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

My daughter is afraid Mickey Rourke is hiding under her bed. I guess it’s possible. Going to check. Yup, he’s there. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just saw a guy driving a Tesla while wearing Google Glass and blaring Daft Punk. Now THAT’S how you overcompensate. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I know it's early in the season, but so far my Game of Thrones "murder bracket" is intact. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I'm frequently told that I resemble someone's best friend who still likes ska. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to catch me using a cliche. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I may be off the air on TV this week, but check out my work on the CB radio band as "Gingey, the Truckstop Whore." — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just benched 300 (sat on a bench, watched "300").  — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Saturn just gave birth to a moon. I'm pretty sure she¹s not a single parent, because she has a ring. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Let¹s face it, anyone named Captain America should be overweight and have a porn addiction. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Camped out at CVS so I can beat the rush for half-priced Peeps. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

On the Seattle ferry and Mark proposed to Jo right in front of me. The three of us will be so happy together! http://t.co/7T9TjH12gR — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Who painted these Easter eggs? BANKSY!!! — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Babies are being named after "Game of Thrones" characters?  What parents would name a baby after a sword wielding, mythological character? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I sense there is a plan to commemorate my birthday with an equestrian statue on the Washington Mall and I approve. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just found out that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him look at alarming statistics about beach erosion. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Ah, springtime in LA, when the birds return for pilot season. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Tonight I am X-CITED to have the X-CLUSIVE final trailer for "#XMEN: Days of Future Past." 11/10c. It's X-MAZING! — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I thought that hosting the MTV Movie Awards would guarantee they spell my name right on my security pass: http://t.co/Lw8UW7z0Ug — PolitiTweet.org