Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I can’t believe this jellyfish has a better sense of style than me. https://t.co/na5a6yqZWr — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just stepped out of the shower and caught a glimpse of my scrawny ass in the bathroom mirror. I concede defeat. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

@StephenMerchant Just stepped out of the shower and caught a glimpse of my scrawny ass in the bathroom mirror. I concede defeat. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

One of my guests may have been the last person to see Orson Welles alive. The other was on "The King Of Queens." @MeredthSalenger @PattonOswalt https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/JmSl78rUEW — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If Mike Tyson can fight Jake Paul for $50 million, I will fight Stephen Merchant for $30 million. It’s being dubbed “Battle of the Pool Noodles.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s a slippery slope from woke M&M’s to Same-Skittle marriage. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Talked to a fan who offered to show me around Reykjavik’s penis museum. Had to tell him I’ve been 27 times. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/sb79qGUonx — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Very excited that my friend @MosesStorm's first comedy special is out now on @HBOMax. Check it out @ https://t.co/NF2YVKq1yB https://t.co/ehfFeTSvzw — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A hacker has taken control of 25 Teslas, which explains why right now I’m driving through Bucktail, Nebraska. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Since Prince Andrew was stripped of his military titles, Britain has never been more vulnerable to attack. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I charged Bowen Yang $600 per minute for this conversation. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/fY4T4PtlD9 — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Sometimes, just to feel something, I’ll illegally copy keys that say “Do Not Duplicate.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Imagine my anger when I found two thousand of my old monologues on the Calm app. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

So far I’ve been mistaken for three of the women in “The 355.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

RT @vulture: Believe it or not @mosesstorm was not conceived at an Ivy League a cappella concert! Stream Trash White on @hbomax January 20… — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If you think the violin isn't cool you haven’t heard my fan Jesse play Guns N' Roses on his "shoulder guitar." https://t.co/pfOk23nSHZ https://t.co/1znIi8dJ9k — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’ve become one of those helicopter parents, where I fly my private helicopter instead of spending time with my kids. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Ugh, the new Batman is rated PG-13. Anyone wanna buy a thousand “Free Mask Rides” t-shirts? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’m seeing so many lovely memories of Bob today. He was extraordinarily sweet, genuine, and always generous with his talent. My heartfelt sympathy to Bob’s family and his fans all around the world. https://t.co/jjPm5sxwqE — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

While we were chatting, Zach Galifianakis asked his wife if she wanted to meet me. She declined. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/rF6VOUHpk0 — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I haven’t seen an online sports betting ad in almost 7 minutes. Am I dead? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I tried doing a “dry January” but as usual my constant, insatiable craving for grain alcohol was far too powerful. Oh well. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If a tree wins a Golden Globe in the forest but it’s not televised, does it still make an embarrassing speech? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Flurona reminds me of that time I had herpmydia. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Hear how I plan to solve the Lizzie Borden murder case while wearing a hoop skirt @ https://t.co/pfOk23nSHZ https://t.co/FMpsACE6Me — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but they misspelled my name as “Lassie.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I talked to @Reddsaidit about finding his identity, landing SNL, and getting a death stare from Kanye West. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/3OsZFPUVyc — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Given it’s the 15th Batman movie, shouldn’t “The Batman” be called “A Batman”? — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Any day now we’ll be reading about the new “nasal swab” billionaire. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

God bless Betty White. As my mom would say, “we were so lucky to have her.” https://t.co/pXzu6JezOg — PolitiTweet.org