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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
For the Super Bowl, I have one of those curved TVs. Problem is, it wasn’t like that when I put it in my car. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Word is that Jeb Bush is working on a 2016 campaign slogan. So far the frontrunner is: “Vote Bush – Because it’s Been the Required 8 Years.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If your name is cool forwards, it's cool backwards. Case in point: Ksum Nole. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
AG Eric Holder ended the federal civil forfeiture program. Holder said, "It was the right thing to do, whatever the hell it is." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Join me, John @Mulaney, @SarahKSilverman, & @NickKroll for a night of laughs & a great cause. http://t.co/lPG9twrsYY #Innocenceproject — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tonight I become the 1st late night host to kill Russian mobsters with #ArcherFX's @codenameduchess: http://t.co/0MW3Js0U2N — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Remember “planking?” Me neither. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Nothing makes me feel sexier than overpaying for a blazer. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Idea for 2015: haikus go to 6-8-6. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Liam Neeson denied he made a remark that he was converting to Islam. You can see it all in the new action thriller, Taken…Out of Context. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Two men climbed El Capitan using only their hands and feet. It’s like that time I walked to the bathroom without my slippers. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Discovery Channel has said that from now on they will only air factual documentaries. Or as they were known in the old days, documentaries. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
At Dartmouth, 64 students are being accused of cheating in an ethics course. They've all been given an honorary doctorate in Irony. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I’m beginning to think I didn’t get that role as young @icecube in “Straight Outta Compton.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Same-sex couples can now get married in Florida, and are pledging "Til Meth Do Us Part." — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I still think those North Korean hackers are hiding in a RadioShack in Toledo. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I can’t believe the Consumer Electronics Show rejected my idea of a walker made entirely of Slinkys. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I hope oil stays at under $50 a barrel, because Valentine's Day is coming up. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Very sad day. #JeSuisCharlie http://t.co/IF0tQXmyTV — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
DOWNTON ABBEY SPOILER: Carson finds an oil of camphor stain on a drawing room divan. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Of all the things I thought might happen in 2015, a sex scandal involving Prince Andrew and Alan Dershowitz was pretty low on the list. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The Pope is being hailed for picking 15 diverse cardinals from unusual places. Congratulations, Cardinal Rabbi Mo Fensen of Bozeman, MT. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just spent 72 hours sitting motionless in a darkened room. Perhaps it was a mistake to binge-watch “Black Mirror.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Wondering how long it will take me to learn to write “2015” on checks, but first must re-learn how to write checks. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just found out “Auld Lang Syne” is Latin for “Made Up Words.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Damn, today’s @nytimes crossword has 2 clues about me, and I still can’t fill in an answer. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Don’t cross Mr. I, or he becomes Mr. T. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Ladies, I’m 6 foot 4 inches of misplaced confidence. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There are 2 Reds on the season finale of @TheComebackHBO. Watch and live tweet tonight at 10. #TheComeback — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just ate at an online virtual steakhouse, Amazon Prime. — PolitiTweet.org
