Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

There is talk of a Mad Men spin-off, I can’t wait for “Better Call Joan.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

.@FLOTUS Me & @KevinHart4Real crushed your #GimmeFive challenge and now the ball is in @BillNye’s court. http://t.co/vhMbVpOAzu — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

.@FLOTUS Your #gimmefive challenge has been accepted - 11 PM 2nite on TBS (I’d write more, but my arms cramped while typing this tweet). — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Happy Passover to all my Jewish friends. If I had been Pharaoh, I would've let you go after just three plagues. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

HE IS RISEN! (I am of course referring to Don Draper). — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Shout out to all the Catholic priests out there, I know tomorrow is your Super Bowl! — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I hope you don’t mind that I made you say “jambalaya” to yourself. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

.@rickygervais That's bullshit. I've never had a sperm count that high. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Hugh Jackman says the next X-Men movie will be his last time playing Wolverine. Your claws await, Dame Judy Dench. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If I Tweet something critical about Scientology, what’s the worst that could ha — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s looking like Gary, Indiana will no longer be a honeymoon destination for gay couples. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

RT @TeamCoco: EXCLUSIVE WORLD PREMIERE: We've got @KeithUrban and @EricChurch's new music video #RaiseEmUp: http://t.co/5WH4Dethnd — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Not sure about SeaWorld’s new ad campaign “You Either See Them Here or at Red Lobster.” — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Buzzfeed now has a seat in the White House press briefing room. I read about it in their list of 14 Sentences That Confuse Your Grandmother. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

A Baltimore Raven published a complex study in a math journal. The NFL suspended him for unsportsmanlike conduct. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I can’t hear “Sweet 16” without thinking of the special party my parents threw for me in high school. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It was probably a mistake to pick Hogwarts in my March Madness bracket. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If you ever see me at Hooter's, I'm just there to judge others. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I could be wrong, but I think I just saw a commercial without a Who song in it. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

It’s almost baseball season. Oh boy, I can’t wait for games 150-162. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

The working title of my autobiography is "Sex Karate Maximum: Overdrive To Glory." — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Period. Word order DOES matter. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Just found out "alma mater" is Latin for "place where I experimented with my sexuality." — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Disney has confirmed there will be a sequel to #Frozen. In this one, Princess Elsa moves to Boston to see what a real winter looks like. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’d like to throw my hat in the ring. Now FIGHT, hats! Fight! — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

Lately, instead of showering, I just stroll through the perfume department at Macy’s. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

To really feel at home on St. Patrick's Day, I hired some Boston guys to fly here to L.A. and question my manhood. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

I’ve just completed my brackets for March Sadness, and it’s Preventable Famine over Plague by 6 points. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

On this date in Ancient Rome, Caesar was brutally killed moments after inventing the salad. — PolitiTweet.org

Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

If I were a mobster, my nickname would be Conan “Murdered Immediately” O’Brien. — PolitiTweet.org