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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes formed into the shape of a tiny skeleton. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I figured out how to make the ñ in jalapeño, ñow does añyoñe kñow how to turñ it off? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I used to be a nervous flyer, but I stumbled upon a trick that always keeps me calm - continuous screaming. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My Amazon Wish List is mostly lozenges and Klingon knives. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I got pushed, elbowed and kicked on Black Friday. And I did all my shopping on my home computer. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Finally, a Thanksgiving without a drunken uncle. Just me, my nieces and nephews and my bottle of Jack Daniels. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What am I thankful for? My family, friends, a fulfilling career...soup...the 140-character limit that keeps me from having to continue. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Turkey contains Tryptophan which makes people very Ben Carsony. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
MSNBC created a virtual reality app that lets you experience life in prison. Doesn’t anyone want to be surprised anymore? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm great in the sack, not so great in the bed. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The KKK has gone to the Supreme Court to adopt a highway. Well, technically, just the white stripe in the middle. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Carly Simon finally reveals who the song “You’re so vain” is about: Lester Holt. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Oddly, "Feed Conan cheese and crackers" was on JLaw's rider. https://t.co/OrZkVwIYuP — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Astronomers have found the farthest object in our solar system. It’s the airport your friend needs a lift to. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Most people know @JohnCleese as a brilliant writer, actor & comedy icon but I know him for his baby-soft hands. https://t.co/6Yhw3O7QJM — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There’s a new alarm clock that wakes you up by slapping you in the face. No word yet on which German company came up with it. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Thanks to @SonaMov and everyone who made #ConanArmenia happen. https://t.co/AZ6xzR3bXX — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Two beautiful Armenian women enjoying their lunch. #ConanArmenia https://t.co/27PZoi53tH — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I'm not positive, but I think I could be the first late night host ever to herd sheep in Armenia. #ConanArmenia https://t.co/dCvqJxqHiR — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
This is an Armenian dance called “Where did I park again?” #ConanArmenia https://t.co/8mCKDcfF02 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Me and my posse of thugs from my cameo in an Armenian soap opera. I’m the 2nd one from the left. #ConanArmenia https://t.co/PFT0rhJmZM — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
As requested I bought @SonaMov’s father a nice painting. No word on what her mother thinks. #ConanArmenia https://t.co/e7ZvYGmxbm — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If you want a behind-the-scenes peek of Hollywood glamour, this is me & @AzizAnsari with a cheese plate: https://t.co/Okyuvy9Nnz #CONAN — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tomorrow night, a very special episode of #CONAN: My assistant & I visit her homeland of Armenia. https://t.co/0KgR2o92WW #ConanArmenia — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Reminding #VictorFrankenstein star Daniel Radcliffe the difference between "Frankenstein" & "Frankenstein's Monster" https://t.co/pYpIxy2eVg — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I brought my assistant @SonaMov to Armenia. I also brought a camera crew. Watch #ConanArmenia on 11/17. https://t.co/o8oMMAXpyu — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
The car horn is great training for the Facebook dislike button. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Caught in a polite-loop with Jesse Eisenberg. https://t.co/ovIzmrmbF3 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
You know how adults sound in the Peanuts specials? That’s what everybody sounds like when they’re not talking about me. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
.@LovetheGIVE will donate $1 to @Stand4Heroes every time #GIVE2VETERANS is used. RT & support the brave men & women who've served. — PolitiTweet.org
