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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I couldn't film my flight to Qatar with @FLOTUS, so this 100%-accurate animation will have to do. #MissionConan https://t.co/fH5b9gHPY1 — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tonight's #MissionConan is dedicated to the brave men and women of Al Udeid Air Base who put up with my nonsense. https://t.co/3W08PUKFcH — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I like to consider myself the Stephen King of people who've never written a novel. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
😉😘🌵🚽👍🏽. Am I doing this right? Trying to say, “Running late.” — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I did a DNA test and it turns out I'm 98% Irish, 2% pool noodle. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
If the internet ever does become self-aware it’s going to be the smartest perv in the world. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I hate shopping at the Depression Store because they never have my sighs. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Watch my visit to Al Udeid Air Base with @FLOTUS on Monday 1/25 on @TBSNetwork. #MissionConan #JoiningForces https://t.co/7N9JycjowW — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I lived a real-life version of “The Revenant,” except instead of getting mauled by a bear, it was a Girl Scout whom I gave inexact change to — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I guess it's safe to say Trump is a fan of "Dance Moms"? https://t.co/OLmn6Xb4kQ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
There’s nothing like your wife not winning the Powerball and watching her unpack her suitcase. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Feeling very snubbed to be the only white person not nominated for an Academy Award. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Westerly kids have to stick together. Stay strong, Dorian, we are all thinking of you! #DStrong https://t.co/Es0s2x4DAs — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Wonder why our office spends over $3 mill a year on paper? https://t.co/9n8iqZbTar — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Just got offered a job as a permanent “before photo” model! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Only the best for my oozing sores: https://t.co/MAxjH7WiqJ — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I think Rey is the daughter of Harry Potter and Wonder Woman. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Tonight on my show, I look back at some fun and special moments with the great David Bowie. https://t.co/DTAWSQ8mTq — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I am terribly sad about the loss of David Bowie. He was surrealistically talented, funny, and kind. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Ok, little concerned about the Patriots. Bill Belichick just called and asked if I’ve ever played wide receiver. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
It’s January 9th. Only two more weeks until the Christmas presents I bought on Etsy arrive! — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My New Year'z rezolution iz to have more fun with Z's. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I think we’ve found the one group of guys from Oregon who don’t smoke pot. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Did I just hear that President Obama is coming for my biceps? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I wanted to teach my staffer Diana how to drive, so obviously I asked @IceCube & @KevinHart4Real to help. https://t.co/1A9SJjpI6y — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My plan to defeat ISIS? Get them to eat at Chipotle. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
My favorite jai alai player? Iñaki Goikoetxea of the Basque Country, of course. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I like to think of myself as the kind of boss who brings donuts in the morning. Thinking about it is enough, right? — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
Maybe now that it’s 2016, we can finally start talking about the presidential election. — PolitiTweet.org
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
What champagne is best paired with alone in the dark? — PolitiTweet.org
