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Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Bananas are no friend of mine. http://t.co/K6BH3TGx — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
That was the least sexy swimsuit competition I have ever seen. #GOPdebate — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@PatrickPentland Hi--glad to see you here. Do you remember when we met at The Bowery Ballroom and I may have cried a little bit? — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @TheKevinAllison: Just recorded a surprising story from @iamsambee of The Daily Show for the RISK! All-Star episode. Great lady. And ... — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
When I die, I would like my funeral pyre to be built entirely with pillowy cream filled longhorns from Bob's Donuts. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@joebodolai ALWAYS a Fireball. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@robdelaney No bare backing with the elderly though. They are positively riddled with STD's. *mini-barf* — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@bshorrhandmade Thank you for taking me to the Promised Land http://t.co/FRGg0gSX — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I love little old ladies in kickass outfits. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@canadiancomedy Thank you SO MUCH. This is both an honor, and for my Canadian friends, an honour. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@robdelaney @AnaGasteyer Awww. The stuff dreams are made of. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AnaGasteyer will agree with me on this: green tea tastes like somebody else's toenails boiled along with a bunch of forest twigs. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I just *addressed* a pimple between my eyebrows and unintentionally gave myself a bindi. I think it makes me look very wise. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AllanaHarkin I think I may have just accidentally pictured you dancing around to the music of Guns N' Roses. http://t.co/Wi0Haiwe — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
The next time I decide to purchase four pounds of parsnips at a farmers market, somebody chloroform me before I get to the cashier. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I feel like biting my nails is going to kill me one day. Like, one day I might hit an artery by accident or something. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
There's this: http://t.co/GzG94LWY which references this: http://t.co/iU0fLtK5 Lesson learned. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@paulfeig just get your iPad a giant set of Truck Nutz and no one will mess with you. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I'm so awake. Think I'll go wander around in the fog in a giant corn maze for a while. No one come looking for me. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@timcarvell "Kramer vs Kramer vs Predator" #awesomesequels — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I feel like I'm missing out on cocktails... @AllanaHarkin @herbadmother @scarbiedoll @MammaYamma #blissdomcanada — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AnaGasteyer Congratulations! Now go get yourself something pretty. Like a super sexy *oven*...oooh...with convection capabilities...mmm — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Children *love* sarcasm. http://t.co/GzG94LWY — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AnaGasteyer & I just had lunch. We ate the same thing, drank a lot of beverages, and realized simultaneously that we are both incontinent. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@GallBrendan I would honestly be worried for anyone who even has coffee on their breath right now. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@jianghomeshi it's my dream to open a butter-tarts-only restaurant here in NYC! Let's go into business together! — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I can't see out of my own eyeballs. I would stab someone for a tiny bag of used coffee grounds right now. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Trying to give up coffee, starting today. Sometimes I surprise myself with how stupid my own ideas can be. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@mountain_goats First, I think you guys are terrific! Second, I forgive you for *claiming* that pumpkin soup could ever be legendary. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Why are pumpkins necessary? Can't we just gather as a nation and agree to stop growing them? http://t.co/6LEsszre — PolitiTweet.org
